Vertical Vertigo

Revolution.

2011-04-08T02:02:00.020+05:30

I return after a long hiatus. A lot has changed since I last opened blogger. In my life as well as in that of the world and this country. Everyone is aware of what happens in the world. This is the age of those who live life in the fast lane, after all. And no one gives a rat's ass about how everything's shaping up in the Beanp_ole's life. So I'm not going to do what all returning-bloggers do, rant about how they were naive when they entered college and how they're now guided by Prometheus' fire itself.

This is going to be about the Lokpal Bill and is directed towards two rather disjoint sets of people:

1. Those who support the anti-corruption movement without understanding it.

To be counted as one of the many who belong to this group of people, you need only have bought convenience from your local traffic policeman, local MLA(by voting for him in return), license tout, auto-driver, hostel attendant, college admin clerk or even your professor once in your life. Because for every Government official accepting a bribe, there's a civil society member paying it. You don't need to embezzle funds to feed cattle that don't exist or buy licenses for providing telephonic services (that you can't support anyway) on the cheap to be called corrupt. And no amount of "liking" Facebook pages or signing online petitions can undo this.

I will feel that I've achieved something if this post goes on to explain the matter. Because in most cases you didn't care to read what the wiki page or the petition or the note your friend tagged you in actually said. I will, therefore, include links to some of the pieces that require reading.

2. Those who are ready to engage in a constructive debate without casting aspersions on the integrity or motive of others.

First things first, here is a draft of v2.1 of the Jan Lokpal Bill as proposed by members of the India Against Corruption movement as an overhaul of the variant presented by the Government.

Now, it wouldn't be fair to expect everyone to read that document in its entirety. This Scribd document provides an analysis of the Lokpal Bill. Also, here is a (much) shorter version of what the Jan Lokpal Bill proposes for those who bleed blue but don't.

The bill and the movement have inspired commentary and discussion in mainstream media and on social platforms. There is support as well as disagreement from all economic, political and social strata of the society.

Bloggers who support Anna Hazare's movement:

Why is Anna Hazare's 'misguided' fast important?
Why I am protesting, by fasting today...

Anna Hazare's fight against corruption! Why should you care?

MERA NETA CHOR HAI - Chetan Bhagat(Ok, this one was just for laughs and the put- badge-of-latest-fad-on-my-Facebook-profile brigade.)

Bloggers who are against the movement and/or the Lokpal Bill:

Of the few, by the few(Pratap Bhanu Mehta, the President of the Center for Policy Research)

Against the Jan Lok Pal and the politics of hunger strikes(Nitin Pai, for whom I have the utmost respect.)

On Anna Hazare's fast(Rohan Joshi, another objective columnist)

Jan Lok Pal - Caveat Emptor

Anna Hazare's misguided fast

A bill to end corruption? Really? Who are we kidding?

Anna Hazare, the Lokpal Bill and the Red Brigade

Bloggers who are undecided and/or provide other key inputs:

Dodging the drafts(PRS Legislative Research)
ENOUGH(B Raman, Director of the Institute for Topical Studies)

After reading through all this the main talking points appear to be the Gandhian philosophy of the movement(often termed coercive) and some of the clauses of the bill itself.

An increasing number of experts believe that the manner in which the movement is being carried out is undemocratic. Their argument is that while Gandhi was fighting against an imperialist power, the public today is trying to pressure a Government they voted to the helm themselves. Fair point. But so what? Should a Government, that has a post-election alliance as its foundation, be allowed to do as it pleases for its entire term? At the risk of being called an anarchist and/or an elitist, I ask, should politicians be allowed to have their own way just because most of the rural population that voted was given TV sets and in some cases, mixer grinders? A common rebuttal is "a people deserves the Goverment it gets". And this is where I disagree with Lincoln. Democracy is based on the false conviction that there are extraordinary capabilities in ordinary men. And honestly, is there no room for protest in a democratic India?

While I agree that the bill is not perfect in any way, it is downright stupid to rubbish it completely. The process of selecting the Lokpal, what needs to be done with the recovered losses are some issues that require greater deliberation. Amendments need to be made to the draft. Edges need to be smoothened. But the bill is closer to being a diamond than a piece of charcoal. The movement's spirit needs to be appreciated and other technicalities worked out so that it benefits everyone.

Finding a way to eradicate this malaise that afflicts the entire structure from top to down is of greater importance. And the inbuilt urge to buy convenience at the drop of the hat among most Indians is what makes this task tough (Sisyphean, as some might claim).

Most commentators who do not agree with Anna Hazare see 'voting for change' as the only solution to this problem. The carrot and stick treatment needs to be meted out. "Vote the corrupt out, every time, again and again until parties get the message. Vote!", as Nitin Pai says. This basically translates to UPA, BJP, UPA, BJP, UPA... I agree with that suggestion in all its spirit, but we live in a dystopian world where things rarely work out the way they should. Which brings me to some of the questions I want to ask them: Can the entire Indian polity just change the way it votes at the blink of an eye? And if it can, then why hasn't it happened already since we're all so progressive and insightful and well-meaning? How can someone bring fruit to this Arcadian fantasy(root out caste based voting, etc.), if given the responsibility and wherewithal?

Saying that India would have a better Government if everyone voted is like saying that India would be a member of the OPEC if everyone of us started working at an oil rig. That is how serious the lack of dependable leaders in our political system is.

In the hope that more informed gentlemen will give an amended bill a chance and progress will be made after the first steps have been taken, I rest my case in support of the movement. Comments, arguments and criticism are welcome.

P.S. All those who aren't interested in all this can find refuge here. Lennon had the uncanny habit of capturing the mood of the time.

The Guy in the Glass

2010-01-08T20:39:00.006+05:30

Something interesting I came across, first a few years back and again quite recently.

When you get what you want in the struggle for self
And the world makes you king for a day,
Then go to the mirror and look at yourself
And see what the guy has to say.

For it isn't your mother, or your father,
Whose judgement on you must pass,
The fellow whose verdict counts most in your life
Is the guy staring back from the glass.

He's the fellow to please, never mind all the rest
For he's with you clean to the end;
And you've passed your most dangerous and difficult test
If the guy in the glass is your friend.

You may be like Jack Horner and chisel a plum
And think you are a wonderful guy,
But the guy in the glass says you are a bum
If you can't look him straight in the eye.

You may fool the whole world
Down the pathway of years
And get pats on the back as you pass;
But the final reward will be heart aches and tears
If you've cheated the guy in the glass.

Oh yes he has!

2009-10-10T21:19:00.006+05:30

After winning Nobel Peace Prize, US President Barack Obama has collected another shining medal to his award collection. He was awarded the Ig Nobel prize for Improbable Research in chemistry for inventing 'Placebo Piss', a new type of piss that flows not from the urinary tract, but from the mouth of the pisser. At the award ceremony held at Boston, Obama was awarded the honor for his remarkable ability to generate piss from his mouth and also for pissing off many millions around the world by winning Nobel Peace Prize without doing anything substantial in his initial months of presidency.

Also called as Pretense Piss, Pseudo Piss, Mouthful of Piss and Hot Piss, it is sometimes misspelled as 'Peace' which could have been one of the reasons, the Nobel Peace Prize Committee made the historical blunder and awarded him this year's Nobel Peace Prize.

What does Placebo Piss actually do? According to experts, placebo piss like placebo medicines is a sugary, inert piss which actually does absolutely nothing but when released from the mouth of a politician, preacher or a wannabe global messiah, mesmerizes thepatients audience causing them to believe the promises sprouting from his mouth. "Despite being just a placebo, its a very potent piss. Especially when emanated along with words like 'Yes we can change' or Change we can believe in', it makes the listener believe that the world is changing for the better." said Rafael Cladwell, chairman of the Ig Nobel committee.

Even when the world doesn't really change, the belief that the world is indeed become more peaceful does indeed have a therapeutic effort on the gullible listener who starts ignoring all evidence to the contrary.

"Obama's placebo piss has achieved tremendous success in just eight months of his presidency. Despite the fact that Iraq continues to burn, Guantanamo Bay stays operational, Taliban keeps on spreading its influence, Pakistan persists in avoiding termination and export of state-sponsored terrorism, Obama has succeeding in making a large section of international community believe that the world is becoming more peaceful." added Rafael Cladwell.

Unlike other politicians who are full of hot air, Barack Obama is a man of piss. Very early in the presidential campaign, he realized the diminishing value of hot air. "Politicians have been expelling hot air since time immemorial, but people are becoming immune to it due to their sharpening ability in detecting it. Obama being cleverer than most people has found a way to hoodwink them through a radically different way " said one of the admirers of Obama's pissful approach of solving world's problems.

Being a smart cookie, Obama knew he can't win the trust and vote of millions of Americans unless he learned to produce something new and different from the usual hot air. "Hot air emanating from the mouths of politicians releases a distinct rotten smell which alerts the audience in his vicinity. At the time of its release from the mouth, it tends to distort the facial features. The eyes generally become shifty indicating insincerity, the mouth widens more than normal indicating pressure to let out hot air along with rhetorical empty words and the nasal openings tend to contract in an attempt to block out the foul smell of the hot air being released from the mouth. Although people are not aware of the exact process which results in the distortion of the facial features of the person expelling hot air, many million observant voters through long decades of exposure to broken promises have become experts in identifying the precise set of facial distortions associated with release of hot air." said Steve Mayer, one of the members of the committee.

Obama responded to the challenge of his words sounding like hot air by learning to substitute it with placebo piss. "It is not really understood how Obama manages to convert hot air into placebo piss. Perhaps he withholds pissing for long periods of time and through a secret tantrik practise has learnt to move his piss upwards through the spinal cord from his bladder to his mouth where his piss loses its pungency and gets converted into sweet piss." added Mayer.

"But whatever the technique he may use, the effect of his procedure are there for all to see. We can see how the upward movement of piss through his spine makes his back arched perfectly and thrusts outs his chest. When the piss travels to the neck region of his body, it results in a slight upward glance which gives the effect of messiah-like man looking heavenwards for deliverance of his followers. Also notice the effects of his piss on his mouth region resulting in a sticky plastic smile that never ever wears off." Steve Mayer explained to his audience while announcing the prize.

"The pose that he manages to achieve during his sermonsspeeches is near-perfect. Unlike politicians shooting off hot air, his eyes never look shifty or deceitful. The sticky piss he generates makes his eyes look focused, his gaze steady, his tongue glib and his overall look that of a confident trickster who knows he has audience eating out of his hand." said Steve Mayer.

The cacophony that religion is

2009-08-30T21:16:00.007+05:30

I am irritated as hell and it’s got nothing to do with the general state of affairs around me, the BJP’s implosion, the weather or the creative hate mail on my posts. My frayed nerves are the result of the surrounding cacophony attacking my ears which has left my brain in permanent vibrator mode (that may explain this bewildering blog).

Last week I got a case of the sniffles. Nothing serious, just seasonal flu, which escalated my irritability levels by a few megahertz. So, early Saturday morning, as I lay in my bed(at home) cursing the world and its viruses, my peaceful reverie(an indication that I was not in the hostel, a place where nothing is ever peaceful, and you can accord that to the unusually small bed that I've got. Sleep, thus is a precious quantity. Twisted muscles of the neck aren't!) was interrupted by a violent clanging sound from the vicinity. A quick investigation from the window showed someone looking remarkably like a priest banging a metal plate outside the temple.

Apparently, it’s some new custom copied from neighbourhood schools to lure in devotees and torture every other soul who doesn’t believe in paying obeisance to the gods. My frantic and angry gestures from the balcony asking him to keep it down only escalated the volume and the situation(and my hatred towards God's own man's undiluted act of schedenfreude).

That brings me to a question, the answer to which I seek in all earnest: Why do all religions have to be so loud about their daily rituals? It’s a sensitive topic so I’ll have to tread lightly, lest I get lynched by some religious zealots on my way back to Bawana Land come Monday morning. I also know that temples, gurdwaras and mosques won’t tone down the volume because a certain short-tempered blogger has got the flu. That’s just wishful thinking.

Day in and day out, these places of worship scream their devotion all over the country. I don’t know for sure, but I have a strong feeling that God is not deaf. The priests, however, always turn a deaf ear to these sentiments. Perhaps all these priests and clerics have a secret deal with the ENT specialists of the country. You scratch my back and I’ll send you the hearing impaired.

Another theory could be that these gentlemen want to make the somewhat less devout feel guilty about not going to the temple. If I was in their place, I’d change tactics… this is only driving away the remaining atheists.

Then there are the jagarans(no, not the ones you generally associate with exams). It would seem that the gods are more alert at night. Therefore, screaming your lungs out after midnight is supposed to get you closer to moksha. I believe the Supreme Court has some guidelines about noise levels (religious or otherwise) after 9 pm. Unfortunately, this being a topic of faith, you won’t find too many people willing to take on a mob to uphold a law, yours truly included.

So, how does one sleep when a thousand tone-deaf people are shrieking out devotional songs in unison a few metres from your house. Simple. Invest in ear buds, put pillows over instead of under your head and spend thousands in soundproofing your house. The other option: shift home. Although I doubt the second option is practicable. Religious is ubiquitous, you see.

Another thing I’ve noticed (and I am moving into the rounded-up-and-beatean-up-risk zone again) is that few of these harmless devotees are aware of the harm they are doing to music lovers in the neighbourhood. It’s not just the decibel levels that leave you grimacing, but the murder of melody. Tansen and his ilk must be turning in their grave. I think I should record this mass murder and sell it to the CIA. After Abu Ghraib they must have been looking for new ways to torment prisoners.

Anyway, I need to go and have a man-to-man conversation with the neighbourhood priest. If I cant’t get him to pipe down, at least I can spread some seasonal flu and God-willing give him a sore throat. Just hope I don’t have to participate in a jagaran to get God to listen to me.

Pray!

Babloo hates them too!

2009-08-15T12:56:00.005+05:30

'I hate politicians! I hate them, I hate them, I hate them!'

Babloo Arora is just a 10-year old school-going kid living in Delhi, but he has already learned how to hate politicians like all the adults in his family. Son of affluent businessman, Ranjit Arora who exports jewelry to east European countries, he believes politicians are responsible for all his troubles and hopes that by the time he has grown-up, India would become free of politicians.

"Yesterday, I got beaten up by my classmate after I stole his tiffin-box and ate his lunch' said Babloo, 'Bloody politicians! Why can't they introduce strict laws that would prevent school-children from beating up their classmates? We need laws that would allow school authorities to immediately rusticate students who use violence against their fellow students"

"There should be a limit on amount of home-work given to children too. My parents don't allow me to watch TV unless and until I finish my homework. Every second day I miss out on my favorite cartoon show because the damned homework takes so much long to complete. If our politicians were not preoccupied with making money, they would have noticed the tremendous amount of suffering children have to undergo due to ever increasing homework."

"But why would our politicians care about children? After all we don't have the right to vote like adults. Children are not their vote-banks!" rued Babloo.

Babloo is also upset at the inability of our politicians to control runaway inflation. "Earlier I was able to buy pizzas, burgers and diet cokes thrice every week. My pocket-money of Rs. 2000 every month also allowed me to buy at least 5 video game titles and 10-12 movie DVD's. But nowadays I'm forced to cut corners. I've cut down my pizzas and burgers consumption from thrice a week to twice a week. Thanks to inefficient politicians, I'm left with no choice but to beg my dad to increase my monthly pocket money by 500 rupees, if I want to continue playing same number of new video games on my playstation as before."

"Politicians have ruined my life!" added Babloo sobbingly, 'I would not be suffering the way I'm had it not been for complete and total abrogation of duty by politicians and their complete indifference to the plight of young children"

Asked to elaborate, Babloo said "My parents are very ambitious and want to see me on TV. They have huge expectations from me and wish to see me become a big television star. They have pressurized me into joining singing and dancing classes so that I can become trained enough to participate in reality shows. Now, I really love singing and dancing, but at the same time I'm scared to death of my parent's reaction if I fail to qualify for any TV show! Its high time our government bans reality shows on television featuring little children. But sadly, our politicians just don't care about the plight of children"

"When will our politicians wake up from their collective apathy and try to solve the complex problems that kids today are facing? How many kids will have to be lose their childhood to class-room violence, excessive homework, increasing inflation and song-n-dance television shows before our politicians wake up from their slumber and take decisive action to provide children with safety and security they deserve?"

Sigh. Another life, another story.

Of forward thinking and blackmailing

2009-07-29T23:56:00.007+05:30

I am going to die within the next 2 days. Why? Well, I kinda forgot to forward a boring forward to some even more boring people. The result: I am as good as dead. Just counting the days, folks.

Readers who have often grimaced with pain after reading my torturous attempts at humour will no doubt be rejoicing at the news of my impending demise. Hold your horses, friends. Apparently, there are some doubts about the credibility of these fatalistic forwards. A ray of hope for a dying man, but I cling to it with my entire body mass index.

Some of you may just be nodding furiously in agreement. After all, these irritating forwards can well be mistaken for email threats from al-Qaida. Come to think of it, I wonder if their terrorists also get such forwards. What a great way to terrorize the terrorist. If I could get hold of Osama bin Laden’s email ID, I’d definitely send him the sob story about a man ditched by his wife because he spent too much time with the other 39 in his harem. “Oye Osama, if you don’t forward this to at least 40 other al-Qaida members in the next 5 minutes, something horrible is going to happen to you…like an encounter with a heat-seeking missile looking for some serious terrorist booty”. Sigh! Wishful thinking!

Truth is, I am something of a serial forwarder. While I avoid terrorizing friends with the goody-goody sob-story emails, I am a sucker for jokes. But even an Internet-addicted, always-forwarding geek like me knows when to draw the line. Sometimes I think even spam from Nigerians asking for money on behalf of some long-lost intolerable relative is acceptable rather than a forward asking me to show my good side and passing it on to others.

I still remember the first forward I received. I got a forward from a friend that dealt with how I was just about to get lucky. Oblivious to the fact that this was a “forward” that someone had sent me to save his/her arse, and was not in anyway a synonym of “Godspeed”, I replied to the sender. Yes, I didn’t know shit from sugar then.

Now, they all begin with something like “I got this mail and I swear it works….” I swear too, at the forwarder I mean. Then the emails proceed to show you dreams of a financial windfall. They usually ask you to do something stupid like putting a coin on your nose and screaming ‘show me the money’. And just as the gullible oaf inside you starts hoping for a solution to beat recession, there comes the catch: Forward this to 50 people in 5 minutes and you could make millions. Forward it to 5 people in 10 minutes and you’ll get a new car free with a house in the suburbs of some congested, polluted city. Not forwarding is not an option. OK maybe it is, if you want to commit suicide. Cyber blackmail, I tell you!

It’s not like I didn’t try it. Before I caught on to what these fiendish forwarders were up to, I would often fall in the trap of selfish emailing. But I am still waiting for my millions.

I am going to rub a lot of people the wrong way with this tirade but who cares. After all I’m going to die because of these very same people?

Oh and yes, before I forget, forward this blog to a minimum 50 of your friends in the next 5 milliseconds or you’ll lose your sense of humour.

A trip down memory lane: Kasauli

2009-07-19T00:39:00.022+05:30

You don't always need a sea for a change. Sometimes, 77 kilometres is more than enough.

Far away from chokehold of commercialised Shimla lies the quaint little town of Kasauli. Tucked away in a quiet hill of Himachal Pradesh and hidden and protected from vicious tourists and business minded gentry, this less known hill-station has all it takes for anyone to have an unadulterated experience of pure beauty. At 6,000 feet, adorned with tall and slender pine trees and the perennial burst of wild and ornamental flowers, Kasauli sure drugs the visitor with its scenic beauty and cooler climes. Lack of commercialization, and the fact that you can't buy land, seems to have no correlation with the eating joints here and perhaps this is what makes this place so stunning.

Kasauli is easily accessible by both road and rail. The nearest airport is at Chandigarh. Situated at a distance of around 325 km from New Delhi, the hill resort can be easily reached by hiring a bus or a taxi, from the inter-state bus terminals (ISBT). Buses, taxis and coaches are ready for hire from Chandigarh and Kalka as Kasauli lies en route to Shimla and the upper Himalayas. But I would suggest taking the toy train from Kalka, which is a one of it's kind experience when you travel with the hills and rich flora as companions and steep gorges as adversaries. These trains run in sync with the Kalka Mail that arrives at Kalka early morning each day. For Kasauli, you would have to get down at Dharmpur.

The town, that turned into a convalescent home for British nationals when they stemmed the growth of the ever-increasing hold of the Gurkhas in 1814, can easily cure writers, shutterbags, nature-lovers and birdwatchers of all their fastidious ailments and still leave them gasping for more. It's no surprise that the famous Indian author, Khushwant Singh often takes refuge in Kasauli whenever he wants his creative juices to get flowing.

Kasauli is far from being your archetypal hill station (although you still have Tibetians selling their wares!). It is small and can be traversed almost entirely on foot. It has a central area encompassed by two major roads- Upper Mall and Lower Mall. The Lower Mall has the bus stand and some shops, a photo studio and a departmental store. As you go higher up, a labyrinthine intersection of narrow roads takes you to the Upper Mall or to the children's park, Sanatorium and further on to the TV tower unfurling a couple of trekkable roads going further beyond. The Upper Mall - which is closer to the urban definition of a mall - is a small by-lane studded with stones with an amalgamation of small sweets shops, toy shops, a couple of shoe shops and the only barber shop of Kasauli.

Places to visit are few and far between in a place like Kasauli that is still nestled in the days of yore. Of greenery. Of peace. And most notably, of less concrete. At the juncture of the two Malls lies the "Church of England", a nineteenth century church built for the soldiers of the British garrison. At the end of the Upper Mall, sitting atop the Gilbert Hill, is Gilbert House, built as home to the first Brigadier of Kasauli. The bungalow today, hosts the current Brigadier. And according to lore, Gilbert's ghost is still 'seen' venturing out in the premises. Also named after Gilbert is the Gilbert trail, one of the numerous treks fraught with danger at every step and at every climb or descent. The odd hornet's sting or a wild plant's prick is bearable when weighed against the unmitigated beauty one witnesses on every bend. On it's way up the Upper Mall also lies the 120 year old Kasauli club, a sprawling complex with facilities to satiate any socialite. About 4 km from the Mall lies the Monkey/Manki point, an Air Force base that is known more for being home to notorious monkeys. Visitors are thus thoroughly frisked and not allowed to carry anything, and for more reasons than one! As you tread upon the direction the masses have taken, you will see a colourful temple perched on the top of a steep hill. However, it's your call whether you want to take the precipitous climb or not. Not far from Kasauli is the famous Lawrence School, Sanawar, one of the most famous boarding schools of the country.

Such a beautiful place, Kasauli's exquisiteness lies in its laid back nature. Look anywhere; shoot from any angle; or take any road through the whispering pines on both sides, the place has a naturally reassuring ambiance that, in a way -- I sure stumbled upon this feeling -- permeates into the skin and balms the soul.

P.S. : The credit for the first picture(and in fact, for the entire trip goes to Arjit Arora who will soon be here to revel in his day of glory!)

The Godfather: A Review

2009-07-15T01:04:00.004+05:30

If there was ever a book that hasn't fallen short of my sometimes-unreasonably-high expectations, it would have to be The Godfather, one of the most widely read and revered books of all time. The plot of the novel is intriguing, the conversation and the plots so involving. The author, Mario Puzo, an American with Italian roots lays bare the strong Sicilian spirit coupled with the supreme importance given to family values and unity. The protaganist's life is a testimony to the fact that circumstances go a long way in shaping the life one lives.

The novel spans several generations of the Corleone family, going as far back as the turn of the century in Sicily. The book is a riveting page-turner, with little plot lines jutting out from the principal one - Don Vito Corleone, with three grown sons, struggles to keep the Corleone "Family" together and strong. Don Vito is a fascinating character to both the novel's internal characters and to its readers. He is a family man, a man of honor, brave, intelligent, and loved. He is also the leader of one of the strongest mafia clans in the world. The book is inter-sparsed with instances where the Don pulls strings to help his faithful. He has three sons and a daughter- Sonny, the eldest, Fredo, Michael, the youngest and Constantia Corleone. Elder brothers Sonny and Fredo are soldiers in the organization and Sonny is the most feared enforcer in New York. His adopted brother Tom Hagen is the lawyer who handles the financial details of the family business. Young Michael was different from the others in his family. He wants a queit and an honest life with Kay Adams, with whom he falls in love at college.

The story starts with Constantia's wedding reception. Scattered around are such luminaries as legendary hit man Luca Brasi, world-famous singer Johnny Fontane, and Mafia capo Dominic Clemenza alongwith scores of people who literally worship the Don. After the reception, Don Vito, Sonny, and Tom, meet with Virgil Sollozzo, a drug smuggler who wants them to become partners in his business. Though Sollozzo offers attractive terms, Don Vito, who considers drug trafficking to be too dangerous and against his morals, rejects the offer. When, a few days later, the Don is cut-down and seriously wounded by a pair of assassins, the violent Sonny is tapped to take the reigns of the family and vows to avenge his father.

In the midst of the resultant gang-war, "college-boy" Michael, to the surprise of all, volunteers to kill Sollozzo and Captain McCluskey, his police protection. Meeting with the two in a small restaurant, Michael slays them both with a hidden pistol. Michael is then exiled to Sicily by his own father to protect him from the police. And this is where Michael undergoes a complete transformation.

Meanwhile, all the five "families" of New York are engulfed into a war that leads to widespread bloodshed. One of the sons of the Tattaglia family is killed and very soon, Sonny too gets killed while he, in a fit of rage, decides to set his erring brother-in-law right. This forces the Don to call truce and in the bargain, arranges for Michael's return to America.

When the Don is finally felled by a heart attack and Fredo is sent to consolidate the family's power in Las Vegas, Michael is called upon to take control of the family business and take revenge on his enemies.

And the rest as they say, is history..

In every crevice of the story, the reader finds patterns of betrayal causing tragedy to make for a rich buildup of plot and suspense. This marriage of two dark themes makes a story that is a must for any serious reader.

War of the words

2009-07-07T22:16:00.008+05:30

While there are some who invent imaginative new words thereby contributing to the art of making language richer, there are others who self-appointedly sit on language monitoring committees to monitor the influx of new words and decide which new words deserve an entry in the hallowed English dictionaries. Who gavith them the right?

And then there is the Indian media, suffering from severe lack of sense of discrimination, which starts drooling with excitement whenever anything remotely connected to Indian cultural landmass gets approval from westerners. A press release by a little-known American company that makes money by monitoring new media for mentioning its clients, announcing the crowning of one millionth word should ordinarily have been brushed aside without a thought, but the inclusion of two words having an India-connection (Slumdog & Jai Ho) was enough enticement for our media to treat a publicity gimmick by a private company as yet another shining example of India's cultural impact on the world.

Would we have stopped using the words Slumdog or Jai Ho had this monitoring agency not included these words in its expanding list? Has our national pride suffered a dent because Slumdog is listed at 9,99,997 and not at 10,00,000? If not, why do such crappy crowning ceremonies conferring chance celebritiness to accidental new words become news?

As a response to such senseless pandering to juvenile fancies, I too have created my own list of new words and phrases that deserve an entry in the English dictionary.

Countupation - (noun - Counting clowns) - The silly and absolutely pointless occupation of keeping a count of new inclusions of items in a given branch of knowledge that are indelineatable due to lack of accepted and clear-cut criteria for inclusion or exclusion of such items in that branch of knowledge.

Languappropriate - Attempt to appropriate or assume pseudo-control/ownership of an entire language through insidious means such as setting up a language monitoring company, unauthorizedly taking up the role of deciding which words deserve an inclusion in official lexicon and pompously crowning words arbitrarily with meaningless titles.

Authoreverence - (reverence or worship of authority) Obsessive obeisance by mainstream media to traditional institutions of authority or institutions pretending to be institutions of authority (like Oxford English Dictionary, Global Language Monitor etc) while ignoring the contribution of popular barometers (such as Urbandictionary.com which boasts a dictionary of 4 million words) to the profusion of new words and phrases.

(National) Gloryearning - Excessive yearning or hankering for national glory. Often exhibited by media by giving over-importance to international competitions of no significance, and by treating every international contest featuring any person, product or an abstract idea related to the nation, however tangential the relation might be, as a matter of national pride and glory.

How this bill doesn't fit the bill

2009-07-01T06:00:00.002+05:30

In what is being termed as India’s equivalent of the Suffrage Movement and the Maputo Protocol, the UPA Government has now promised reservation for women at each level of legislative decision-making, starting with the Lok Sabha, down to state and local legislatures in its 100-day action plan. The measure is a throwback to erstwhile Congress Prime Minister Rajiv Gandhi's move in 1992 to earmark 33% of all seats for women in panchayats.

If the Bill is passed, one-third of the total available seats would be reserved for women in national, state, or local governments. In continuation of the existing provisions already mandating reservations for scheduled caste and scheduled tribes, one-third of such SC and ST candidates must be women.

The proposed legislation to reserve 33.3 percent seats in Parliament and state legislatures for women was drafted first by the H D Deve Gowda-led United Front government, introduced in the Lok Sabha on September 12, 1996. Though it has been introduced in Parliament several times since then, the Bill could not be passed because of lack of political consensus.

It looks like it is incumbent on political parties to score political brownie points by using the much talked about instrument of reservations. The issue of reservations has been a thorn in the side of every government since Independence. Why? Because, it a principle that is fundamentally wrong. And in order to implement a fundamentally wrong principle, one has to devise numerous irrational laws and devices to cloak the ugly core of the principle. A lie has to be covered with other lies. That's why reservation is a thorn.

What does one do when a thorn is stuck in one's foot? He plucks it out. And when are we plucking out the thorn of reservations? At present, it only looks like the policy-makers of the nation are only bent upon driving the thorn further into the foot.

The idea of reservations originated first in attempts to correct historical wrongs. That it doesn't accomplish that in any way, only aggravates differences between different 'groups' of people is a totally different issue. The concept of reservations is now being expanded to include current perceptions of injustice to certain sections of society, more precisely that section which is made of people of a particular sex, women.

Studies have proved that competitive pressures such as trade and deregulation reduce discrimination against women in the job market. That private companies, not cosseted by the Government, tend to choose the best talent without any prejudice is also a testimony to the fact that merit begets respect and opportunity.

This Bill takes away the democratic right of 33% of the electorate (22 crore people) to elect their representatives and restricts the choice of both men and women in those constituencies. The state has no right to limit the pool of representatives available to the public to choose from. It violates the right to equality guaranteed in the constitution. This is against all democratic principles of free choice. It will lead to significant upheavals and instability in Indian polity, with MPs being forced to shuffle constituencies in almost every election. An inability to nurture their constituency and further reduce accountability is thus, what we get.
The Bill sacrifices merit and experience of seasoned law makers and will further divide the country on gender lines. It suggests a rotation system which would be determined by draw of lots, in such a manner that a seat would be reserved only once in a block of three general elections. This is a serious flaw, insofar as it mechanically provides for entry of women members to fill one-third of vacancies in Lok Sabha and Vidhan Sabhas. This subverts the democratic process which is all about free choice vis-à-vis a mechanical action/ process.
The concept of reservation is an insult to women and their capability and perpetuates gender discrimination. Moreover, there are no measures to make sure that the benefits are received by the socially backward and underprivileged women, who really need them. It is hard to imagine how a normal woman who is brilliant, patriotic and honest and has the will to bring about change would be able to benefit from this move. Going through the labyrinthine and tedious, if not only useless, procedure of party politics is not the best way of ensuring that we get motivated leaders. And how individual candidates just serve to make up the numbers is there for all to see. There are no objective criteria to prevent the elite class or “creamy layer” of women from taking undue and unfair advantage of this legislation.

India is a vast country that is multi-cultural, multi-ethic, multi-lingual and with several groups, castes, sub-castes etc. Apart from beating the drum for reservations in general, the implementation of this bill would lead to more demands from various groups and sections of society for similar representation and it would be an open invitation for politicization of the representative form of Indian democracy. It will be a death blow to representation through constituencies.

In India, a man is presumed to be superior to a woman, not because of considerations of merit of thought, but by anatomical considerations. And the enforcement of such belief-systems upon women is carried out by persuasion, blackmail, threat of physical violence and sometimes direct bodily or psychological injury. So fighting such stupid beliefs should form the core of those want to uplift conditions of women. Education and removal of old 'anti-women' concepts and strict law enforcement can make a woman walk confidently on the streets. And achieve what she wants without help or interference from any external sources. If such conditions ensue, why will women ask for reservations?

Yet the proponents of the Womens' Reservation Bill propose to fight injustice with injustice. They are feeding the prejudices of the patriarchal sections of society by supporting such a bill. They want to plant puppets like Rabri Devi in 182 seats in Parliament and gloat over their victory in their struggle for 'equal opportunities' with men.

This bill is short-sighted, unconstitutional, undemocratic and discriminatory.

Do give it fair thought before branding me a misogynist.

(And no, I’m not exactly Lalu Prasad Yadav’s fan!)

Much ado about nothing

2009-06-25T01:56:00.007+05:30

Finance geeks would tell you that the current financial crisis began when investors lost confidence in the value of securitized mortgages in the US resulting in a liquidity crisis that, in turn, caused a substantial injection into financial markets by the US Federal Reserve. They'll talk about mortgages, sub primes, leveraging, shadow banking, swaps and all those things that are part of their holy argot!

Now, a story in English.

"I was the proprietor of a bar(theka?) in Bawana. In order to increase sales, I decided to allow my loyal customers(and friends!) - most of whom were unemployed(as of then) alcoholics - to drink then, but pay later. I kept track of the drinks consumed on a ledger (thereby granting the customers loans). Word got around and as a result, the footfall at the Boulevard of thy 'Highness' went up just as the madness is at the Santiago Bernabeu. Taking advantage of my customers’ freedom from immediate payment constraints, I increased my prices for vodka and beer, the most-consumed beverages. My sales volumes(and of innumerable bellies) increased massively.

A young and dynamic customer service consultant at the local bank(Students' Bank acknowledging Inebriation) recognised these customer debts(and no the customers) as valuable future assets and increased my borrowing limit. He saw no reason for undue concern since he had the debts of the alcoholics(and their impending pay packets, which were presumably 'high') as collateral.

At the bank’s corporate headquarters, expert bankers transformed these customer assets into DRINKBONDS, ALKBONDS and PUKEBONDS. These securities were then traded on markets worldwide. No one really understood what these abbreviations meant and how the securities were guaranteed. Nevertheless, as their prices continuously climbed, the securities became top-selling items.

One day, although the prices were still climbing, a risk manager (subsequently of course fired due to his ubiquitous negativity) of the bank decided that slowly the time had come to demand payment of the debts incurred by the drinkers at my bar. However, they could not pay back the debts. I could not fulfill my loan obligations and claimed bankruptcy. DRINKBOND and ALKBOND dropped in price by 95%. PUKEBOND performed better, stabilizing in price after dropping by 80 %(for reasons unknown to all concerned).

The suppliers of my bar, having granted me generous payment due dates and having invested in the securities(if you could call them that) were faced with a new situation. My vodka supplier claimed bankruptcy, my beer supplier was taken over by a competitor.

In the meanwhile, Changu and Mangu, next door neighbours in the basti and owners of competing bars had also thought that this way of conjuring money - where there existed none - had the nascent ability to propel them to 'ultra-richdom'. That the tables had turned on them was all over bar the shouting. They, just like yours' truly, also got beat by the greed game.

The bank was saved by the Government following dramatic round-the-clock consultations by leaders(again, if you can call them that) from the governing political parties. The funds required for this purpose were obtained by a tax levied on the non-drinkers."

Yeah, let's keep the game simple!

Insanity rules? Ok!

2009-06-18T00:50:00.011+05:30

Much as I am dejected by India's loss in the 20-20 World Cup, after our surprise elimination from the tournament we were expected to win, what bothers me much more is the way aspersions are cast on the team. What bothers me is that national dailies - which boast of having on board, the game's stalwarts and insightful columnists - run headlines like 'Team lets nation down' and 'Captain cool or captain lose?'.

The dominant reactions to the defeat seem to be one of anger and betrayal. Anger is a complicated emotion. It's not clear what causes and is caused by anger. There are broadly two methods that people employ to vent their anger. More sophisticated of these are acerbic rants, while others are unabashed physical gestures.

Let's say there are two categories of anger: personal and impersonal. The former is caused by things that have immediate relevance to you (your newspaper delivery boy is lazy) and the later by things with no or very little relevance to you (your friend's newspaper delivery boy is lazy). To be sure, this is not very well defined, but I am concentrating one one single aspect which will be clearer.

Both these angers are perfectly justifiable. The crucial difference between them is what you do about it. First there are some absolute limits on what you can do. For instance, you can't destroy the home of the newspaper boy. Within those limits, personal anger gives you more scope for action. You can fire your newspaper boy. But the impersonal anger almost never permits action. While you can urge your friend to fire his newspaper boy, you can't do so yourself.

The anger generated in many fans by Indian team's loss is impersonal. This is the case even though it may be true that the team's performances are key to many of the fans' happiness. This impersonal anger surely allows for serious criticism, but much of what we see today is unwarranted. Here is where the thin line of difference between the anger and the betrayel gets blurred. It has to be remembered: the Indian team is not responsible to its fans. (That a fan needs to stand by his team in hours of victory and defeat can be left unsaid in the current climes anyway.) This might sound sacrilegious in today's atmosphere of affected jingoism, but it is true. If the Indian team has the power to cause a fan intense shame and misery, that power is given to them by the fan. The team did not ask for it. The fan can take that power away from the cricketers if he wishes. The fact that cricketers make insane amounts of money is not germane to the issue. Neither is it correct to argue that a cricketer's basking in the glory when he does well requires him to take the obscenities thrown at him when he doesn't. The Indian cricket team does not represent India's pride. Anyone purporting to derive national glory or shame on the basis of cricket team's results is a fool. (Take note, Hero-Honda, Pepsi and others of the ilk!)

It seems to me that this whole affair is symptomatic of a disturbing trend that is emerging in India. Many of the new habits and practices are characterized by instant gratifications and even more instant disillusionment. Shortsightedness isn't just prevalent, it is rampant. Gone in the process are the balancing convictions afforded either by ancient culture, or a thorough education. This is apparent everywhere one sees. In cricket, a player is lifted to the sky after a handful of good performances and his effigies are burnt after a single bad show. Whether it is the national obsession with daily junk on television, or the eager rush to modify education to suit the immediately visible needs, what seems to drive people today is the expedience of the moment.

Does insanity rule?

Think.

Can pigs fly?

2009-06-05T21:08:00.005+05:30

Can pigs fly? I think not. But how can I be so sure? If I’m pigheaded enough, I can start throwing pigs off a cliff and after an agreed upon number of pigs have turned to pork down below, I can say with almost certainty that porcine flight is impossible. The downside to this method is not that too many pigs are killed to prove a point, but that for believers of flying pigs, too few will have been tested before we, considered as anti-flying pig bigots, come to a conclusion. (‘The next one could have been the pig, you know.’)

Another way to prove that pigs don’t fly could be to read the scriptures, the law if you will. For instance, if those awaiting proof are believing Christians, then the tactic could be to read out Chapter 8 Verse 32 of the Book of Matthew in the Bible: “And he said unto them, Go. And when they were come out, they went into the herd of swine: and, behold, the whole herd of swine ran violently down a steep place into the sea, and perished in the waters.” Not one pig fluttered to safety there.

The downside to this method is that it’s fundamentally stupid: to gather a fact by what’s simply mentioned in a fable, no matter how sacred and profound the fable may be, is a leap of faith not too unlike that taken by the swine mentioned above.

So what’s with all this pig metaphor? Has the swine flu over the cuckoo’s nest? Or am I reading too much into one of Floyd's most cogent creations? No, it’s just that I’ve been going mad cow trying to figure out why otherwise bright sparks have been going on and on about how abnormal it is for 26/11 terrorist Ajmal Kasab to plead ‘not guilty’ during his ongoing trial. Why would a guilty man, they ask in that gobsmacked way that will become a look by the next fashion season, tell a court that he’s not guilty? Because, honeys, that’s what most people accused of committing crimes do: say they’re innocent.

The smart set’s not only upset by Kasab’s plea of ‘not guilty’ but is also appalled that someone, an Indian to boot, is defending him. Surely, they murmur, Kasab’s (first) lawyer Abbas Kazmi would be just pretending to defend his client and actually hanging out with and helping the prosecutor to nail the bastard, right? Or Anjali Waghmare -the now done with lawyer- secretly be an accomplice in hatching a plot to plot the downfall of one of India's most 'celebrated' terrorist captive. Expectedly, the villagers with their pitchforks are baying for blood. The Islam Gymkhana in Mumbai had expelled Kazmi as he “agreed to defend the most dreaded terrorist Kasab. This is against the essence of Islam”. Will the Koran ever be used to defend terrorism again? Never! Only club rules apply. Just to prove he isn’t above loving ‘patriotic Muslims’, Shiv Senapati Balasaheb Thackeray has endorsed the Gymkhana decision.

Anjali Waghmare was done with, for her apparent inability to comply to court rules or what, one might never be able to tell. In any case, she had her house pelted with stones by a mob. I believe that Waghmare was taken off the case of her own volition and not because of the technical reason cited: because she is also representing a 26/11 victim, she couldn’t be defending Kasab. Hmm. If a lawyer is seen to be professional enough to keep her personal views about a terrorist outside the court and defend him, why is prosecuting and defending the accused in two separate cases such a legal taboo?

So what about the pigs? Well, ‘Is Kasab guilty?’ is as tough a question to answer as ‘Can pigs fly?’ But according to the law, that secular scripture we bow to whenever it suits us, you need to jump through a set of agreed-upon hoops before effectively proving that Kasab is a guilty man. It doesn’t matter a bacon-nibbling rat’s ass if it seems obvious to you and me that Kasab’s a mass-killer who brought India to its knees. A good defendant can upset all expectations by arguing that the prosecutor’s evidence simply doesn’t add up. That’s his job. And that’s what makes a trial in this country legit and not an ‘Off with their heads!’ procedure.

And what about us(who the "usses" really are is open to debate)? Are we being so kind in showing our magnanimity to the 'poor' old fellow who showed just how vulnerable India is? Or are we just procrastinating the inevitable in order to prove just how pro-Tiananmen we are, in the current scheme of things?

We, in my humble opinion as I might add here, are like a pig in the middle, caught between what has been a rigid and redundant labyrinth of procedures and a compulsion to prove how we, as a nation, are prone to bootlick that phrase called 'democracy'. The general opinion(the democratic opinion, if it can be called that) is that Kasab is a mass murderer without even hinting at the literal meaning that his name connotes. Yet, we continue to act like young hypocrites at the DU. I wouldn't want to, but given to my tendency of digressing, I shall. The HT City 'reported' recently that young men joining the DU were planning attend their first few days at college in big, swanky cars and NOx guzzling superbikes, or 'Boy's Toys', as you might like to call them. The concerned females accepted that this does manage to attract their attention, afterall, name and fame corrupt anyone. But she(the individual in question) was quick to add that she would turn down-pretty nonchalantly at that- any proposal if she were to learn that the guy didn't "own" the car/bike but had bought it to impress her. Wanting to hang Kasab without a trial, after we're all human, and yet giving him a fair chance to prove he's not guilty. Fair and square? Surely.

I want Kasab to hang. I hope Kasab will hang. That’s why I’m so keen the trial is conducted quarantined from the pandemic hoopla surrounding it. That’s also why I don’t want the prosecution to screw things up.

Till then, pig it!

Of Bootfluenza and the Fourth Estate

2009-04-12T14:12:00.025+05:30

Mr. Shoe is gaining in popularity as a political missile. Mr. Shoe might have been thrown-in to 'meet' people before. But in his new found avatar, Mr. Shoe has caught the imagination of the media and the public alike. Suppressed grievances are brought to the fore by giving Mr. Shoe some air!

Feeling helpless? Go chuck him at someone! After Muntazar Al-Zaidi bootslapped Bush, Mr. Shoe in flight has become the weapon of the powerless.

Compared to a bullet or a bomb, the shoe is as harmless as a flower(only as long as your olfactory nerves are jammed!). Its impact is mild, its range is limited(no stilettos please). It is the common man’s weapon or missile where ever or whenever his shoe pinches. There are times when even pebbles or stones may not be readily available, unless you have hidden them in your pocket, to be used against political adversaries as a part of advance planning. But the shoe is there under one’s foot always ready to fly, if lobbed by the wearer as an impromptu release of ire. Indeed, Mr. Shoe has grown in eminence!

There is a time and place for everything. For the shoe throw, the venue of a press conference, attended by a dignified authority or person seems appropriate. In the present climate, shoe throwing has become a winsome gesture, a stunt that surely wins some (un)deserved publicity. Afterall, it takes quite a lot to remove your footwear and bear those pungent heavens while your footwear lies close to the cynosure of the public assembly!

The thrower may be pardoned, if lucky, or if the social or political gap between the thrower and the person targeted is wide enough for a show of magnanimity. Or the law may take its course. But the thrower is amply compensated by the publicity netted. The shoe throw requires no skills; no training. The shoe need not even hit the person. But its direction should leave no one in doubt about the person intended as victim.

Some say demand for easily removable shoes has increased, after the recent events. Those wearing boots no longer tie the lace, to save time when a throw is needed. Suspicions about the inclusion of the up-to-the-minute "shoe-a-thon" as the shoe-stopper in the 2010 CW Games are rife!

The next parliament may legislate on the issue of the shoe. America should ban the sale of easily-removable-and-throwable shoes for not every President is as adept at dodging Hush Puppies(and other concerns) as Bush. For attending functions where dignitaries are present, people may be required to leave their shoes outside before entering the premises. Do we not remove footwear when entering temples and certain marked areas, even though there is no law but only convention?

I don’t say shoes have not been hurled at each other by people earlier. But what makes it sensational are the personalities, occasion, context, issue involved etc. There is a time and place for every thing. Changes in these can create sensations. Throwing a shoe on a common man walking on the road is no great event. Who cares?

The shoe industry may undergo drastic changes in the light of the shoe throw politics. The design, weight, color and many other parameters may need attention.

In the past, rotten eggs, tomatoes, pebbles, paper weights, books, cups, bottles, plates and anything which can be lifted and thrown have been used as projectiles. But the shoe throw is different. Oiling the wheels of this much-acclaimed endeavour are sites like www.shoeandawe.com which choose to pay homage to those great men-at-"arms".

Here the shoe is used as a symbol of religious or political dislike and hatred. The contrast between the humble shoe and the ambitious throne it wants to occupy makes for much publicity. Above all there is the surprise element involved. It should be most unexpected and sudden. Some applaud the feat in private, while condemning it openly. Media display it as if it were a heroic deed!

It is an insult to the intellegentsia to equate shoe-throwing with democracy. At best, these shoe chuckers are attention-seeking individuals. They give bad name to the virtue of.

While it might be true that the ban on Jagdish Tytler owes its existence to everyone's recent interest in a certain someone's shoes, this embrace of vigilante justice is an extremely dangerous trend and one which is truly unbecoming of a healthy democracy. A true democracy hinges on the dictum of public opinion formed not as after-effects of a shoe-gate but of the analysis carried out by free-thinking men. Politicians should be wary of commiting atrocities not because they fear being hit by a shoe in public but because they should fear being exposed and excommunicated from the entire politcal setup.

If the journalist who threw his size-nine Reebok at the Home Minister was just an ordinary citizen who took such action on one of Delhi’s streets then perhaps it could be argued that he simply has no decency. But for a news reporter to take such action is a matter that should be condemned. That he chose to use shoes over words, forgetting that journalism does not debate and communicate using violence and vulgarity is an insult to the profession of journalism and an indicator that the nature of journalism has been misunderstood.

These words are not in defense of Chidambaram; they come in defense of our culture that does not approve of such behavior. These words are for defending the profession of journalism that is beginning to suffer from a lack of professionalism. A journalist is expected to voice his concerns by posting pithy, quick witted questions, aimed at facilitating cognitive thinking. However this journalist, who today has the right to ask questions and to hold a politician responsible and remind him of his lies, decides not to do that; he decides that shoes were powerful than words, reason and argument, as this is some people’s idea of democracy. No civilized society can forgive this way of expressing disapproval in a democracy.

If it is a sign of the times, then it is time to change! This again is a case of wrong means to reach the right ends. Can we change? What would you do if you were in Jarnail Singh's shoes?

Ponder.

Au revoir!

Make sense of this.

2009-04-07T17:59:00.001+05:30

Wars of the future: Part 1

2009-04-05T19:20:00.008+05:30

So, it is about time I wrote something that makes sense to the usual human. Now, that could mean anything. Varies from person to person. But again, we're NOT getting into the nuances of the ever-so esoteric theory of relativity.

With the kind of turmoil the world is in right now, one wonders if what we've seen until now is really it. Because of the global greed crisis, the writing is firmly on the wall for those who till now thought walls were only what formed edges of alleys on the street. South

Asia is up in flares owing to insanely inane individuals who claim to be God's-own-soldiers. America keeps going on acting like the world's Messiah while a bloody storm continues to brew, courtesy Columbian and Mexican druglords. Africa continues to rue its tumultuos existence. China, for all its burgeoning economic growth doesn't have what is needed to be called a truly progressive nation. Take a trip to Dongtan if you might and you'll notice that China in essence is a poor country.

Astronauts and cosmonauts are fighting over toilet paper and gym equipment at what is farcically called the 'International' Space Centre while people who have their feet-firmly-on-the-ground are dying.

Call me a cynic all you want, but I do foresee a greater peril. History is testimony to the fact that there is always a series of events that lead to a great global event and there is just a tiny pinprick that gives vent to all that build-up(fathom the assassination of Archduke Franz Ferdinand, for instance). Terrorism(or narcoterrorism), economic warfare, regional conflicts, religious strife and energy driven crises, any of these, in my opinion could prove to be the roots of a world endangering conflict between nations, if and when there is one.

In context to the present scenario, the focus for now would be on economic wars.

Economic warfare is as old as traditional warfare and, throughout time, economic wars have been waged to secure financial gains. Economic wars are marked by continuity and they are known in times of peace as well as during war. Chief among the economic wars witnessed between Europe and the United States was the disagreement over the Siberia gas pipeline. There has also been an economic war between the United States on one hand and China and Japan on the other. The conflicting interests of the economies of the USA and the USSR played a significant role in the Cold War.

There are various weapons employed in economic warfare, including sanctions, boycotts, customs barriers, monopolies, mergers and marine piracy. Economic defence means confronting any external threat, while economic offensive to destroy and corrupt economies include dumping, the manipulation of drug wars and counterfeit money, and money laundering. With the knowledge that instances of terrorism and political imbalance can cause grave danger to the stock exchange, nations could(read: have been) plotting crises.

Economic wars, like traditional ones, are based on surprise, deceit and espionage in order to acquire information about the enemy, and involve the fast transfer of information. In the 21st century, economic wars are taking on a new form, depending more on advanced technologies and modern communication. With military conflict an unpopular and unrealistic option, espionage will centre more on the economic power of the state and the economic activities of large companies and institutions. Experts anticipate that the future of nations in the coming decade will depend on the intelligence of their spies and the ability of their business people to master the art of espionage in the world of economics and business.

Owing to the widespread of technology, computers are used as an effective tool; destructive programs and viruses are used to destroy the enemy and intelligence bodies manipulate stock markets to destroy the economies of their targets. Internet is the greatest tool for perpetrators of economic destruction. Resources indicate that 95 per cent of large US companies use economic intelligence and that the United States has started to spy on all international communications in an attempt to serve its economic interests and those of its allies. A small but intriguing example is the impending threat that China's treasury offers to America with its tacit warning of playing foul with all the money it has in its coffers.

A fundamental area of concern for economies the world over is resources(or energy) and their utilisation. The coming times might see restriction of trade of basic elements of the industry which could lead to the crippling of entire economies. Disputes over energy have potential great enough to be cause for a convoluted catacylsm.

All in all, an economic war might not seem to be a very romantic concept but it does have a latent capability to cause nations to cross swords.

Just my two cents. A lot more to come. Stay tuned!

Are you the champion Procrastinator?

2009-04-01T15:07:00.009+05:30

And I'm back!

Having lost all my traffic(not my archetypal pompousness!), it feeels good to see that my indomitable spirit is still alive, something which keeps me aboard besides the want of not wanting my blog to go down as yet another dormant collection of random rumblings. Its almost like starting afresh.

I've been meaning to write this , but I keep putting it off. There always seems to be something to stop me – something better or more important or easier to do.
Everybody is rushing to enter the contest to find India's biggest procrastinator. You subscribed to the offer too, didn't you? As an expert in the field, I will help you win the contest. Even if you are not Indian, just tell them you've been meaning to immigrate. That should actually win you some bonus points.
India is just teeming with procrastinators. Some delay roti, kapda, makaan. Some delay filing IT returns. Some even want to delay the elections.

Bah! Some people hold off on taking courses or changing jobs. Others delay household chores. Indians delay cleaning up and filing. They put off buying a car, washing the car, selling the car, and even learning to drive. Some even hold off on getting born (That was me. Sorry Mom.).
If it wasn't for the last minute, nothing would get done. And many Indians have even eliminated that pesky last minute. Dr. Suraj Joseph(my keen partner and idol when it comes to the Art and Science of procrastination) explains, "It's a lifestyle choice. A professional procrastinator delays walking the dog until the last minute. By then he is busy holding off the lawn mowing. He'll never get to the mowing, even in the last minute, because he spends that last minute not cleaning up after the dog. With so much to delay, the last minute never arrives."

One contestant(from class) bought over Rs. 15,000 worth of software in the past two years "to help me with my computer, 80% of it is still unopened and or unused." It might help if he started by removing the computer from its packaging.
Another contestant(not from class, my class isn't as adept at procrastination as I am, you see) describes how "we go to our sadar bazaar bags to find what we need because we never put them away." I laughed at that one. I thought that was pretty funny. Ha ha ha. My Mom was not laughing. She pointed to the milk boxes piled high beside the door. "But those aren't sadar bazaar bags," I protested with all the conviction of a soggy noodle.
My Mom opened the fridge door. "We have soggy bread. And soggy apples. And soggy turnips. We have a soggy collection. Think it might be time to stop your procrastination and clean the fridge?" Sigh. Master procrastinators are rarely appreciated.
Procrastination has some interesting side effects. A professional procrastinator always marvels at how clean the restrooms are at service stations.
A true procrastinator never gets his Christmas tree up before Christmas. Unless it's still there from last year, of course. Some try to get it down before March arrives, but that calendar always moves so fast!
A skilled procrastinator always reads her mail – but only after the postman comes up to her apartment to complain. One contestant finally emptied her mailbox to find mail from six months earlier.
A determined procrastinator goes several years without pouring his own bathwater or putting out his own garbage. After a while, the community gets involved.
No true procrastinator shovels snow. The snow will hopefully melt in a few months...hopefully.
Even with talented contestants, you can win this contest if you don't try hard enough.
I thought about entering the contest myself. I could delay college graduation by several years. I have a dozen books still sealed in plastic covers. I have a bed to be set, hair to be combed, assignments to be made, projects and reports to be submitted and a "six feet frame" to be cleaned(I'm not all mouth and no trousers, when it comes to procrastination atleast, as you just saw, yet again.)
I was just about to enter the contest, when I came up with an ingenious way to disqualify myself. I offered to put up this open-for-all contest! Now, some credit is due to the person who helps in finding out the nation's best procrastinator. Or maybe not!

With me out of the race, this might finally be the contest you can win. You see, I know a little secret about all the contestants – a fatal flaw that makes every one of them vulnerable. Nobody can legitimately win this year's contest ...unless they enter next year.
Technical notes: To make this note on procrastination authentic, I attempted to withhold it. But my blog gave me "The Frown". If you ever saw The Frown, your boots would still be trembling.
So I decided to submit the post bereft of newer instances of my self-proclaimed-and-attained 'Everest-ine' levels of procrastination. Surely that qualifies as procrastination. But this time my blog gave me "The Double Frown". That sent shivers down through my toenails(which I now remember are still pink from Holi colour!).
I considered sending my post in one word at a time, with each letter cut from a newspaper or magazine like a painfully long ransom note. But my blog told me about its emergency "death ray" frown, so I gave up.
But wait! You can make this true procrastination by not reading any more until next year. Stop reading. If you are still reading, you are failing to procrastinate. Stop now. If you are not reading this sentence, congratulations – you are a champion procrastinator.
Stop, I said. No.. NO!! You can't beat me!! NO!!

And last to last but not in the least, the most useful gyan for the quarter(1st April - 9 December= roughly a quarter, not to be misconstrued with volumetric evaluations, I'm a teetotaller)..

"Watch out for "spam" mobile network messages which say 'Hello! Make new friends with Voice Chat service', for you never know."
Awesome words, I say(Yeah, I did). You'll thank me.

AND, finally the time has come when mighty Zeus and the folk that sit atop the Olympus have conspired to allow me to walk the beaches of the 'parody-siacal' land called Goa(everyone suffers from a bout of procrastination, you see). Fr. William Robert Lyons would turn in his grave if he were to learn that we're traversing half the country in a rotten train that takes 40 hours(no regrets!) to reach Goa to participate in BITS Goa's inter-college football tournament.

O Goa, aqui eu venho!

Adios!

Cut me deep and I bleed RED!

2008-12-09T10:13:00.008+05:30

No words can describe what I felt when I saw Ole Gunnar Solskjaer wave goodbye to Man United. It gave me goosebumps, it brought tears to my eyes, yet at the same time, a proud feeling of having witnessed the 20LEgend play at the Theater of Dreams.

I used to be a casual football fan, with no loyalties per se till this happened.
It was back in 2000 while watching the daily sports bulletin that I first saw glimpses of the game Man United played within the hallowed confines of Old Trafford as well as beyond them. United has just won the European Cup, beating Bayern Munich in what had been an outstanding game of football and more importantly displayed the spirit with which the game is played at United. And history has it that it was Ole who came on as a late sub and scored what was his most important goal ever.
That had me hooked.
Well, you could say that it was akin to having a crush on the first girl you saw when you moved to a co-ed school from an all boys school but it could also be called love at first sight. That is what it has been for me. Watching the weekend games that came before the as frequently held Monday tests, week in and week out.. buying Man United books, stickers, shirts, jackets.. its just a part of it all but true love for United is more than just this and it stems from the professionalism, the passion and above all, the loyalty in the air that surrounds the red part of Manchester. For me, its the can of oxygen that I must buy to live a hundred years. I am sure, if Mozart had seen us play, he would've been inspired to compose a whole opera on us!

What I have seen all these eight years is that there are greater values of real life in the beautiful game and that is what United is all about. The real thing about Manchester United which sets it apart is that it stands for something more than any person, any player, any supporter. It is the soul of a sporting organisation, which goes on season after season, making history all the time!

And, you know when you're a true Mancunian:
You try to explain the greatness of Man Utd even to those people who don't even know the basic rules of football(happens everyday). You watch United do the double even if you have the worst possible paper the next morning and don't mind scoring a 47 in it! Even your Mum, when out to buy you a bag ensures that its got nothing to do with any of your rivals(happened just some time back!). You force yourself on your kid sister to be able to watch the United play even on her birthday(happened sometime in October!)! While watching the Flag show at an Iron Maiden concert, you wish you also get to see a MUFC flag. You like to wake up to "glory glory Man United.." People know when to avoid talking to you, when your team drops points. Its just impossible to ignore the odd looking stranger wearing the Red Devils' jersey...

Sir Alex, widely regarded as the best manager of all time and the individual who can be credited for making United stronger by the day continues to reign, unscathed by the wheels of time. That is where loyality starts, right at the top. His no-nonsense attitude, shrewd tactics and excellent eye for young talent are as famous as his 'fairly' (in)famous hairdryer treatment. United owes a lot to SAF and it'll be a sad day when he hangs up his boots.

Roy Keane once said about Eric Cantona, "Collar turned up, back straight, chest stuck out, he glided into the arena as if he owned the fucking place. Any arena, but nowhere more effectively than Old Trafford. This was his stage. He loved it, the crowd loved him." That is what the imposing structure of the Colloseum-like Old Trafford and the 75,000 odd die hard loyal supporters of the club does to you! This is where uncut jewels are transformed into real diamonds. Indeed, its the Theater of Dreams.

The torchbearers of this legacy come from within the system. They aren't poached from Spain and left to "walk alone" after some time. They aren't all members of the French National team and they definitely aren't bought using the Russian rouble! Indeed, the core of the United is still English. And that our first team comprises of products from our youth system is testimony to that fact.
Beckham, Giggs, Scholes, the Nevilles, Nicky Butt, all grew up together at Carrington and went on to represent United and even England.

Rio has grown into a world class player. Rooney, who gets better every season. And always learns to do more, more than just score. He’s deadly in the box, but most of all he’s growing in to the role of a player who can cover the whole pitch wisely. Not like in his first years years at Old Trafford when he ran over the whole ground and one wondered why he was at that spot now. Ronaldo was a talent. Nothing more. An expensive talent. Fergie made him the world’s best player. Looking even further back, Ruud was a talent. He became world’s deadliest striker at Old Trafford. Performing well in the Netherlands doesn’t make you a worldwide fear, just look at Robben's performance at Madrid. Giggs was a talent. Fergie made him good enough to play all the matches he has for us.No one knew who Vidic was, today he’s among the world’s defensive elite, together with Rio and Neville. I could go on for hours with more examples. Fact is, we buy young talents and grow them, turn them in to world’s best. That’s when the Abramoviches, the Mourinhos and the Calderons come into play : they want to buy the best players. We make them. Young talents at Chelsea fail. And when Ince, Staam, Beckham and Ruud turn to Madrid, its not because they want to, its because SAF decides its in in our interest.

From the treble in '99 to the disappointments at the hands of Arsenal and Chelsea, from the fallouts of Keane, Beckham and Nistelrooy to the rise of Rooney and Ronaldo, and the emergence of a new, vibrantly young United and most recently, the double in '08, its been a wonderful journey and its sure to continue for ever!

I feel close to the rebelliousness and vigour of the youth at OT. Time won't separate us and nobody can deny that here, behind the windows of Manchester, there is an insane love of football, of celebration and of music.
United until death!

Ciao!

P.S. Visit manutd.com ! ;-)

The Eclipse

2008-12-07T12:22:00.009+05:30

When I find out all the reasons
Maybe I'll find another way
Find another day
With all the changing seasons of my life
Maybe I'll get it right next time
An now that you've been broken down
Got your head out of the clouds
You're back down on the ground
And you don't talk so loud
An you don't walk so proud
Any more, and what for..

That is the tune I've been humming to, these past few days.
Does anyone else wake up with almost the same tune in his/her head every day of the week, or with any tune at all, or is it just me?

Anyway, the frivolity of exam taking has almost ended, with just one more pebble left to be thrown into the clever crow's glass(or flask, I care not!). Water never tasted better. I know, I sound wasted.
These were two and a half weeks of lessons well learnt, if you know what I mean.
Quite unexpectedly, Machine Drawing, not my forte by any stretch of imagination turned out to be my best paper. Well, my best could be your worst, but we're not divulging into the nuances of relativity.

Hmm, no more dawdling.
Its no point commenting on the political leadership, or rather, the lack of it in the country. Newspaper editorials and the news channels are doing well enough to highlight the platitude and alibis being showered in abundance by the 'peoples' representatives'. The internet in its own right is doing good at this too, with every alternate blog baying for the politicians' blood.
I can't help but say that the legislatures should finally stop displaying this schadenfreude aimed at us, as the German who lives across the street would have loved to put it.

By the way, Panache '08, our multimedia quizzing event was organised some time back. Panache is where you get to taste the heady cocktail of fun and work. Here's a look at the credit roll:

http://in.youtube.com/watch?v=q2q6SqEqEYk

Eagerly looking forward to the latter half of this month.
Home never felt better.
Ginger Prince is finally back in action. Now we know where the volleys are going!

Adios!

P.S. For all those How I Met Your Mother fans out there, S04E09 is a must watch.

The bigger picture

2008-11-12T21:25:00.010+05:30

In my last post, I mentioned something about my exams. Those were the midsems. I know the blog archives would suggest that those were what had me occupied all this while. Hell, no! It was just my newly attained heights of procrastination that has kept me busy since then. Well, I managed to get over with the midsems(and only I know how!). Now is the time for the ENDsems. Starting this week they go on and eat up most of December as well.
However, recent studies by some eminent scientists have shown that I have(or should have), as a matter of fact, no time to study for my exams. Here is this intriguing report I found on the internet.

The world will end in 2012, say experts Several experts from across the globe are predicting that the earth is likely to end by the year 2012. The reason could be a human effect or natural disaster. From Chinese theories to scientific predictions the most likely date is the year 2012.

SCIENTIFIC EXPERTS from around the world are predicting that four years from now, all life on Earth could well come to an end. Some are saying it’ll be humans that would set it off. Others believe that a natural phenomenon will be the cause. And the religious folks are saying it’ll be God himself who would press the stop button. The following are some likely arguments as to why the world would end by the year 2012.

Reason one: Mayan calendar The first to predict 2012 as the end of the world were the Mayans, a bloodthirsty race that were good at two things -- building highly accurate astrological equipment out of stone and sacrificing virgins. Thousands of years ago they managed to calculate the length of the lunar moon as 329.53020 days, only 34 seconds out. The Mayan calendar predicts that the earth will end on December 21, 2012. Given that they were pretty close to the mark with the lunar cycle, it’s likely they’ve got the end of the world right as well.

Reason two: Sun storms Solar experts from around the world monitoring the sun have made a startling discovery. Our sun is in a bit of strife. The energy output of the sun is, like most things in nature, cyclic and it’s supposed to be in the middle of a period of relative stability. However, recent solar storms have been bombarding the earth with lot of radiation energy. It’s been knocking out power grids and destroying satellites. This activity is predicted to get worse and calculations suggest it’ll reach its deadly peak sometime in 2012.

Reason three: The atom smasher Scientists in Europe have been building the world’s largest particle accelerator. Basically, its a 27 km tunnel designed to smash atoms together to find out what makes the universe tick. However, the mega-gadget has caused serious concern, with some scientists suggesting that it’s properly even a bad idea to turn it on in the first place. They’re predicting all manner of deadly results, including mini black holes. So when this machine is fired up for its first serious experiment in 2012, the world could be crushed into a super-dense blob the size of a basketball.

Reason four: The Bible says it If having scientists warning us about the end of the world isn’t bad enough, religious folks are getting in on the act as well. Interpretations of the Christian Bible reveal that the date for Armageddon, the final battle between good an evil, has been set for 2012. The I Ching, also known as the Chinese Book of Changes, says the same thing, as do various sections of the Hindu teachings.

Reason five: Super volcano Yellowstone National Park in United States is famous for its thermal springs and old faithful geyser. The reason for this is simple -- it’s sitting on top of the world’s biggest volcano and geological experts are beginning to get nervous sweats. The Yellowstone volcano has a pattern of erupting every 650,000 years or so, and we’re many years overdue for an explosion that will fill the atmosphere with ash, blocking the sun and plunging the earth into a frozen winter that could last up to 15,000 years. The pressure under the Yellowstone is building steadily, and geologists have set 2012 as a likely date for the big bang.

Reason six: The physicists This one’s case of bog -- simple maths mathematics. Physicists at Berkeley University have been crunching the numbers. They’ve determined that the earth is well overdue for a major catastrophic event. Even worse, they’re claiming that their calculations prove that we’re all going to die, very soon. They are also saying that their prediction comes with a certainty of 99 per cent; and 2012 just happens to be the best guess as to when it occurs.

Reason seven: Earth’s magnetic field We all know the Earth is surrounded by a magnetic field that shields us from most of the sun’s radiation. What you might not know is that the magnetic poles we call North and South have a nasty habit of swapping places every 750,000 years or so -- and right now we’re about 30,000 years overdue. Scientists have noted that the poles are drifting apart roughly 20-30 kms each year, much faster than ever before, which points to a pole-shift being right around the corner. While the pole shift is under way, the magnetic field is disrupted and will eventually disappear, sometimes for up to 100 years. The result is enough UV outdoors to crisp your skin in seconds, killing everything it touches.

So all you people out there blissfully wasting your time, trying to understand things that you do not have a chance of understanding by 2012, writing exams whose results won't be published before 2012, or attending courses that won't finish by 2012, or even if they do, won't have much value unless you can make the modern day Noah's Ark, better do something more worthwhile because its not just this semester thats ENDing. Come on people, look at the bigger picture! I know the world may not end then, but why take a risk? Personally I'm off to do some research on Greek mythology and playing Football Manager 09, something I've been waiting do for sp long now. I'll try to fit in turning up for my exams between all that, but I can't say that for sure. In the meantime, I suggest you lot all start making plans on salvaging what is left of your life. Do come by this blog more often now than I can assure you a lot more than boring dragging Electrical Measurements, or even worse, Power Apparatus. FYI, I opened my syllabus book yesterday and found out that I had a whole module on Induction Motors and another whole module on Analysis of Complex Functions(did I get the name right?). I'm actually glad that the world is going to end!
RIP!

P.S. Se7en is lucky indeed.

Bluh and Bluh-bluhing..

2008-09-05T22:52:00.015+05:30

Warning: This is strictly a creation of the author's twisted brain. Get yourself something better to do. This work of randomness wouldn't do you any good!

This is not how I am..
I have become comfortably numb..

Yeh! I seem to have, atleast.
Days are passing by like greased lightning, each one teaching me a lesson here or there. Its so random/arbit/variable/faltu(I could give you more of that, but blah, forget it!), sometimes you just want to sit alone for a long time and stare at the sky and at others you just want to go running barefoot on the green grass with the wind brushing against your hair like you were a Usain Bolt!( Yeah, bad example/analogy/whatever!).
Anyway, now, I realise, understand, learn, walk and grow.. although I'm still difficult to understand for most people around, including my best friends and sometimes even me. Guess, complexity is directly proportional to height! See, I'm sure you wouldn't get it, just in case you were reading with interest.

Berbatov's FINALLY arrived at Old Trafford! I've started liking Friends, more so on a certain someone's insistence. BUT, "How I met your mother" is still BETTER! ACDC and Metallica have come up with new singles. Dream Theater has me hooked on right now and I've got so many new books to read, but sadly, not a minute to spare. And, finally I'll be going for a rock show in sometime. Yay! Just as an after thought, mid-sems are coming up too, in a week or so. Blah!

So take a look at me now,
well there's just an empty space..
(I like to be dramatic at times! :D)

Hmm. Dead groggy, with my eyeballs ready to pop out any moment like that weird woman's, who comes on every alternate episode of Ripley's Believe or not( btw how on earth does she do it??), its hard to keep typing. But, for the sake of my 'dear' blog, I'll go on bluh bluhing..

I guess life comes with a truckload of 'baggages'. I'm glad to have some of mine too.. although, I do prefer to call them friends. Old friends, new friends all the same, the only ones who can be felt in your numbness.

Anshuman/Daadhi/Bawa/etc.. Weird, saint-like, with fluctuating opinions and interests. THE "Advisor", yet the one who needs advise from me(can you believe that?). Umm, the guy's sitting in Karnataka. Sad. Why?? Period.

Aditya/Adi/Red-head(for a brief period of time!).. Weirder, another one of my kind. Difficult to understand yet, the 'bravest' of 'em all!

Yogeesh/Bhalu/Yogi.. Ok, this guy is biggg, in every sense of the word. Despite being a pea-brain he does manage to be a BIG brother!

Arjit/Jit/Jitpot/S*it pot?etc.. Another big brother( Why do I feel like a kid suddenly?). Car-freak. Really hardworking and a big big foodie and most importantly, my doubles partner. Stop listening to Flobots, and I could actually consider recommending you to a few girls! If only you read my blog, Git!

Abhay/Kaul/Call-boy.. Freak! Yeah, freak! Bigtime hog, steals everyone's food while they're looking the other way and can't stop advising you on, well, "some" matters! Wickedly fun person to be friends with. My phone booth and wallet in times of need and greed! My

Suraj/Joseph/Susti/JosPee.. a lazy, good-for-nothing moron. Ok, he's good at quizzing, a little bit of football and a little bit of coding and stuff. Other than that, he's totally useless. Just keeps asking for his four-hundred bucks all the time! Vasuli is his profession.

Rahul/Mallu/Malvinder.. Ok, this guys is like candy, yeah, sweet candy. Too good to survive in this world. Mad at me as of now, but I know he'll be the first one to put his hand up for me. Period.

The other bags being Naman, Attika, Niki, Chak, RA, Chintu, Jinky, Rohilla, Manisha.

I'm sorry, I'm just way too much in need of some good sleep right now.

Adios!

High and not-so dry!

2008-08-24T15:31:00.003+05:30

Always be drunk.
That's it!
The great imperative!
In order not to feel
Time's horrid fardel
bruise your shoulders,
grinding you into the earth,
Get drunk and stay that way.
On what?
On wine, poetry, virtue, whatever.
But get drunk.
And if you sometimes happen to wake up
on the porches of a palace,
in the green grass of a ditch,
in the dismal loneliness of your own room,
your drunkenness gone or disappearing,
ask the wind,
the wave,
the star,
the bird,
the clock,
ask everything that flees,
everything that groans
or rolls
or sings,
everything that speaks,
ask what time it is;
and the wind,
the wave,
the star,
the bird,
the clock
will answer you:
"Time to get drunk!
Don't be martyred slaves of Time,
GET drunk!
STAY drunk!
On WINE, virtue, poetry, whatever!

Adios!

Get-up-and-go!

2008-08-16T00:15:00.017+05:30

Warning: Continue only if your brain is in its right place. Seriously!
Thug.. thug.. thug.. and the fan comes to a whining halt as does everything else with no electricity.. no fuel.. no power..

Our world is heading towards a severe energy crisis due to our desperate need to consume more energy than can be produced. While we all are aware that the energy we use is not limitless, we continue to take it for granted. Gas, power, oil, even water has limited availability. Nevertheless, we are unprepared for the energy crisis that will inevitably occur. The responsibility is not only the governments, but every man, woman, and child.

Gas and oil prices have already skyrocketed, and as each day dawns, they are getting closer to extinction. There are some misinformed people who believe the energy crisis is a myth. Burying one's head in the sand when the hunter is hot on your heels should be left to the ostrich! The prices have been rapidly escalating over the course of the past five years, due to an increase in demand and the decline of energy resources specifically- crude oil supply problems, rapidly escalating demand for energy, energy pricing policies, oil import quotas, lack of incentives to invest in domestic energy facilities, and depletion of domestic oil and gas reserves to name a few.

In this post however, I wouldn't indulge in the unneeded act of adding a few more strokes to the already dark picture that has been painted so many times by so many. I would prefer to point out what could, no SHOULD be done.

The right energy policy for a nation must aim to satisfy energy needs of current and future generations of all citizens in an affordable manner without adverse impact on the environment. In today's world, mere domestic availability of a particular fuel may not ensure access of modern energy services to all. A nation requires a range of resources in the entire energy supply chains--primary energy, financial capital, material and human capabilities for development and manufacture of relevant technological systems, and logistical infrastructure for delivery--to make available useful energy to its citizens at affordable costs over a long period of time.

An energy policy aimed at long term affordability, clean environment, sustainability and security must be centered on a wide mix of renewable energy options- solar, wind, small-hydel, biomass and others. Wide mix of renewables is necessary to ensure reliability of supplies and avoid possible fallout of dependence on single option like bio-fuels. Therefore, to begin with, India must change its energy strategy towards one that places the highest priority on renewable energy by committing huge resources for up-scaling infrastructure for manufacture and supply of technologies for production of electricity, heat and other end-use energy from solar, wind, biomass and small-hydel resources. Agreed, setup of a coal powered power plant is atleast 20 times cheaper than that of a wind powered one, but with careful planning and skillful management it can be ensured that in the long run, the alternative sources prove to be profitable along with taking care of the crisis part.

State support must be provided to build dispersed infrastructure in rural areas for delivery and maintenance of these systems. Systems based on clean coal and natural gas, given their current domestic availability and low capital cost respectively, can play stopgap role in the transitory phase until delivery infrastructure based on renewables is put in place.

Meanwhile, research on newer sources of energy must carry on. The microbes that churn out inexpensive bio-fuels and bugs that eat waste and excrete petrol should not be left alone to the confines of PhD papers locked up in stacks of dusty files in some corner of the laboratory store rooms.

In addition to changing energy supply mix, drastic end-use and life-style changes that cut down energy use will be necessary. Examples are: new urban planning with homes closer to offices, excess public transport capacities, and promotion of local markets and local materials to avoid long distance transport. But these changes cannot come by market economics alone. Governments need to intervene now to make them economically attractive in the future.

To sign off, energy crisis is a common problem. It needs an even handed solution. Any strategy should be thoroughly taken into account. The energy and food crisis is a threat to domestic and international political and economic system. If the crisis is not resolved, world wide recession is imminent. There is a need to devise short, mid and long-term strategies particularly by developing countries like India to absorb the skyrocketing prices and ensure a bright future.

Hasta la Vista!

Make your own omellete and eat it too!

2008-08-02T23:25:00.007+05:30

Warning: Read only if you're as besotted with randomness as I am!

It's 11:30 PM now, and hunger, and the fact that Pizza Hut became Pizza Shut at 10:30 PM, shall soon drive me to the kitchen, where another omelette will join its predecessors in lining my arteries with cholesterol. Only this time it'll be different, this new "kid-on-the-block" will have an awe about it...

What does it take to create an extraordinary omelette? Foremost, Respect(with a capital 'R') as my mum's words rang in my ears. Never forget that you are planning on eating two of some hen's gametes(three actually, one of them accidentally slipped out onto the kitchen floor while me was tossing and twirling the mixing bowl in all his glory like me was the head chef at the Shangri La). Pouring beaten eggs into a frying pan and sprinkling it with 'chedded shreddar' cheese is the addition of an unwanted 'dis' to this most important of ingredients. Only slightly lower in the ingredient gradient is Olive Oil, one of those rare compounds that have been attributed cholestrol-shattering properties(why does chemistry haunt me even while I'm just making my first omellete?). The addition of Olive Oil to a particularly rich omelette is like praying before one's semester examinations -- it may not actually work, but it will give one a sense of spiritual comfort. Render unto me also two sprigs of Coriander leaf, and two small, green chillies -- of the toilet-paper igniting variety -- preferably chopped and with the stalks removed, and you won't regret it. If you live in places where said chillies are pickled and kept out of reach of children, add two of them, and pour in a few ounces of the pickling fluid itself to improve homogeneity and boost octane factors.

Add two pinches of salt and sufficient ground pepper to give the whole mixture a 5% grey-tone, and you're well on your way to making your presence felt when it comes to making "smacka-licious" omelletes(err..). If you have tomatoes, a few very small pieces will help too but I do not recommend tomatoes, which seem to be popular among the masses -- tomatoes make omelettes brittle(and heavy), and render flipping hazardous. Serve me tomatoes in my omelette only if the cautionary hand of Wisdom is forever at your shoulder, or if experience has left you scarred for life(never mind that. Just my pathetic habit of philosophising). Gimme onion instead.

Experience shall also teach you the right amount of milk (or better still, cream) to be added as you beat the eggs. Milk? Verily. Milk will make your omelette puffy, especially if your cover the pan as you fry(I avoid milk coz I loath plump stuff- books, people, girls and yeah, omelletes too! It also doesn't help that I HATE MILK!) For cheese lovers(which I'm not, except for the mozzarella vareity), I suggest 'common' Hamburger cheese. If you want your omelette to stink -- in more ways than one -- use other kinds. A slice is (or two are) to be placed judiciously on top after the bottom of the omelette turns golden. This leaves time for the cheese to melt to the perfect degree, before the bottom turns golden-brown. Then you fold the omelette, so that the cheese is on the inside....

The afterglow will take you as far as the 2AM rerun of "Rock Rules" on VH1. Watch Roger Waters(if he's happy) or hallucinate (if he's not) and be magnanimous in judging him -- if his life possessed the balance that your omelette does now, he'd not be singing hallucinatory songs and Wish you were here wouldn't have existed(that's another story, now). In hindsight, and especially after eating it, calling it an omelette will seem unfair. It's a piece of art. Following this up with some early-morning exercise, will keep you from dying for your art's sake.

If you've managed to read this far, I understand that either you were just too desperate to know how a guy could actually cook(which btw is the most ridiculous cliche I've managed to come across) or you've never made an omelette of your own!

In either case, I'm afraid you just wasted some precious moments of your life reading my first experience with those two gametes(or was it three?) which by the way, was way more complicated than it seems! (And what became of them can be seen right here!)

LET's OmelLETte baby!!

Mess Inc.

2008-07-26T03:23:00.006+05:30

Woah! Life's moving way too fast right now. Today, or rather, yesterday was one of those blink-and-you-miss days with so much happening all around.
Anyway, more about that later.
As I went to college to complete the rather painstaking hostel formalities with Mallu (theek hai, for your sake I won't reveal your true identity and your misadventures with that pink slip!), along with the hundred buck worth hostel brochure(and its gibberish) which we had to buy knowing fully well that it was all but someone's diligent work on the control c's and control v's, we were handed out a rather interesting piece of paper(unwittingly so by the clerk). Err.. don't know, it said something, it was something for the people who had taken the hostel for the first time.

Read on-

"Where else would the noun glutton be best suited to the scrawniest guy in your class? Where else would you find such a fine assortment of delectable dishes waiting to be downed? Where else would you wait for that long walk from your hostel to the mess in the senior hostels like you hadn't eaten for years?

Laced with 'pure' desi ghee and atta from the most expensive chakki in the neighbourhood, and the choicest onions and cucumbers from the college nursery, you are sure to have many presumptions about the quality of food served in the mess at engineering colleges shattered, here at the DCE hostel mess! Right from those tables with a rose each and those beautifully crafted chairs (albeit in plastic!) to the fine looking guys who serve you with utmost glee, you are sure to love your time at the mess.

Now lets just get you started with the mouth-watering delicacies we have on offer for our dear students, you being the latest addition to that distinguished army of strong and healthy engineers we churn out each year!

Monday, the day which gets you started with a new week of possibilities and opportunities, holds in store for you Vada and Upma, arguably the best of its kind. Beans from the French farms reach you, blanched and steamed, with a tinge of homegrown chilly and garlic to satiate that huge stomach of yours. Rajma chawal, way better than the one your mum cooks at home, waits for you at night time.
Tuesday provides you with the opportunity to taste the best Mess Inc. has to offer, the famed Aloo de paranthe aur Shahbad dairy da makhan..So sumptuous are these over-sized atta saucers overladed with aloo fry that you're sure to be found in the queue at eight in the morning even if you're generally there just five minutes before your first lecture. Due to the heavy nature of this dish, and our inability to find enough takers for our Hydrabadi Biryani with rice from the granaries of the Nizam himself, we have decided to shut the mess during lunchtime. However, chana and puri await you at night, ready to leave you smacking your lips.
Some peoples' favourite bird is butter chicken. And not keen on disappointing our customers with a distinct interest in birds, we have an 'unlimited' supply of butter chicken gracing the tables on Wednesday. Although, we must add, 20 rupees would be charged for an extra helping! For those of our patrons who suffer with Ornithophobia, we have lentils cooked in tomato sauce with a tinge of masala, commonly known as dal makhani.. but as dal makhi-wali here as we, noble beings do not believe in discrimination and strongly believe that Wednesday must be one dedicated to the non-veggies.
Thursday takes you to the Panju-land. Aqua-pao bhaji, a special variation owing its origin to us will leave you licking your fingers early in the morning. In having a heady concoction of water and bhaji, it takes care of your daily needs of water! Who cooks aloo gobhi? We do, and we do it the best to warrant complete customer satifaction! To take care of your well-being we also serve soya-bean and curry (a mixture of unknown ingredients which gives a mysterious taste, enough to satisfy the taste-buds of those who particularly have a liking for cockraoches).
Keeping to our promise of serving food with a difference, Chinese chowmein with copious amounts of Indian masala is sure to please you on Friday. Also, to give a well-deserved rest to our hard working team of chefs and waiters dedicated to serve you in times of need and greed, we provide you with the opportunity of getting a taste of things outside.
All meals are accompanied with one of the many dals we have to offer- red, light green, grasshopper green, dirty green, black, pale yellow, dark yellow, orange and brown, we have it all. Choose your colour!"

Looks like there is even more to look forward to come August the 1st.
Till then, make hay while the sun shines!

Adios!

Please note- This account is purely a work of fiction and any resemblance with actual events is just a matter of 'coincidence'! :P

Nuking the Indian 'Democracy' !

2008-07-20T21:35:00.004+05:30

Ask Ebenezer Scrooge(of "A Christmas Carol" fame for the uninitiated) about the Indian Democracy, and he would say "Bah! Humbug!"

Democracy, or as I call it(at least in India's context), a demo-of-craziness, is defined by the dictionary as a form of government in which sovereign power resides in the hands of the people who exercise their voting powers to elect officers to represent them. Because a majority can win a vote in a democracy, it is has been commonly argued that majority rule can lead to a "tyranny of the majority", which isn't entirely incorrect!

India is democracy, but the meaning of democracy in India is entirely different. It stands for:

D- Demonstration- of power, wealth and omnipresent inefficiency.
E- Elitist rule- however the basic idea of the Indian democratic constitution is, government of the people for the people and by the people. How far the definition stands true in practice we know better. I don’t know to what extent the people of India are sovereign.
M- Militancy- on the name of secession-ism, separatism, independence and above all democratic rights.
O- Oligarchy- power in the hands of few and transfer of power among the family.
C- Caste-ism- one word that ensures political gains in the so-called secular country like India.
R- Reservation – incompetent people at work.
A- Authority without responsibility.
C- Corruption- part of everyone’s life.
Y- Yearning eyes for equality and justice.

With the government recently losing its majority when the Left parties withdrew support to it for pushing the deal without their consent after promising them that it would not do so, a free-for-all has broken out to muster numbers for and against the confidence vote, mainly by BUYING support. On display is crass political opportunism and rampant corruption.

Over the past 10 days, India's Parliament has been suddenly reduced to a political bazaar or auction-house, I daresay.

The ruling coalition has launched a poorly concealed drive to win over MPs through promises of ministerial positions and support for petty regional agendas, and outright bribery. In perfect retaliation, the opposition, primarily the BJP and the BSP, has been trying to match the ruling coalition, by poaching on the defection-prone SP and winning over undecided parties and independents.

What really hurts the interests of you, me and the entire country at large is that such parties, factions or individuals have no positions on matters such as foreign policy and security issues. But they can be persuaded to vote one way or other for reasons that have nothing to do with the content of the issue at stake.

Besides horse-trading and unethical deals, the present political contention has two particularly murky and unsavoury aspects which could really leave the country reeling in these turbulent times.
First, the government has made the democratic political process play hostage to the whims and fancies of powerful corporate interests. The SP is trying to extract mileage from its support to the UPA by lobbying for changes in important policies and personnel, which would favour the Anil Ambani group, to which it is closely tied. To counter this lobbying, Mukesh Ambani earlier this week met Prime Minister Singh and other top government leaders.
The second unsavoury aspect of the present political tug-of-war is the extraordinary importance that politicians with a criminal background have come to acquire in the crude numbers game. Six MPs, belonging to different parties, and currently in prison as convicts or under trial, may well determine the government’s fate. Several parties are trying to woo them with all kinds of promises in what is widely seen as a despicable show of cynicism. Imagine!

Now I have two issues.
First, I fail to understand why we need "simple" majority to form a Government? Is it just because its the "simplest" way out? Is it because its just impossible to get a bunch of people together who think alike? Why fifty percent? What makes us think that 271(+1) people who in any case have been put together in God knows what way can count for the entire population?
Second, isn't the entire coalition ideology pulling us back?
A Monologue is when one person talks. A Dialogue is when two persons talk. And a "Catalogue" is when all talk and no one listens!
Unfortunately, we have a Catalogue of parties(the kind of which you get at a mobile store when you're out buying a mobile phone !)
A coalition govt of parties with similar ideologies before the polls is good for the nation.
Unfortunately, in India, the coalition alliances mostly happen post polls. Parties that went tooth and nail against each other end up as friends to gain power and fleece the public. Parties that claim themselves Secular are the most communal and play dirty caste politics to gain votes.

In my humble opinion, no matter how the debate over the nuke deal plays out, and whether the deal goes through during the present term of the U.S. Congress or not, the bitter domestic political contention centered on it has exposed the seamy side of India’s much vaunted democracy and has indeed 'nuked the Indian Democracy'. It shows that India has failed to evolve healthy norms of party practices and democratic functioning and, along with decent parliamentary conventions. We have elections, yes, and by and large they are free and fair. But democracy is about more than periodic elections or winning a parliamentary vote with a manufactured majority. The entire electoral procedure has been reduced to a mere game of numbers!

Pray!

Why "Vertical Vertigo" ?

2008-07-13T13:20:00.019+05:30

Might be coming a bit late for everyone's liking, but nevertheless, here it is..

If you noticed(I hope you did!), I recently changed the blog's name from "An Anamnesis" to "Vertical Vertigo". The reason behind this was that I wanted to stick to what the wise men say- "Change is the essence of life"!
Bah! Not really..
Its because I thought this title was more apt and more suited to the blog and besides, it sounds cooler too! :P
While "An Anamnesis" literally means "a recollection, a reminiscence of the past", I realised that my blog wasn't going to be a lot about my past. It might contain a post here and there, about how certain events that occurred in the past affected my present or even my future, but I firmly believe that what you need to know about the past is that no matter what has happened, it has all worked together to bring you to this very moment. And this is the moment you can choose to make everything new. Right now. We need not destroy the past. It is gone.
R.I.P "An Anamnesis".
So yeah..
Vertical Vertigo..
Vertigo, contrary to popular belief of ignorant people like me, you and almost everyone around, is NOT the fear of heights! The term vertigo refers to the sensation of spinning or swaying while the body is stationary with respect to the surroundings.
Don't worry, its not a disease, and its far from being a syndrome too, its just a feeling! Now what I feel is that each one of us experiences a vertigo(No, I'm not talking about the medical jargon!) sometime or the other in life. There are times you're just left wavering, in your thoughts, in your actions, in your decisions and in almost everything. Your head might be spinning because of the circumstances you're in or you might be left swaying your way to a far-away land while wondering why you did something you did. Its also possible that you may not realise that its a vertigo that you were experiencing, but you might just, sometime, when you try to reflect upon your past. Here, I probably gave "vertigo" a whole new meaning!
For me, its quite different, I feel like I'm in the midst of this constant effervescent vertigo always. That is probably why "Vertigo" is the second word that comes before you when you view my blog.
Now for the "Vertical" part. Be it my love for mountains, the want of being perched at the vertex or highest point at all times or my physical characteristics, I guess "vertical" is a part of me, in a way which I may not be able to justify.
Ha! So thats how "Vertical Vertigo" was born.

Leave behind all that binds you, banish all your fears, dispel all darkness and advance to a better tomorrow! Say goodbye to gravity.. Take a leap!

Keep visiting, folks!

Adios!

A Call to those about to rock!

2008-07-08T21:44:00.008+05:30

This is to inform all that I'm fading away, I'm dying.
Bwwahahaha! I'm dying to hit an OAT(Open Air Theater) filled with frenzied people who crave for rock, an audi(auditorium) having no more room, a playground where all present are into a state of disarrayed dizziness yet, a feeling that can only be matched by something like attaining nirvana...
When on earth will there be a Rock Fest/Show/Competition (I give not a damn to what you call it!) worth attending, in Delhi?
Ever since February, after attending a rather avoidable one at NSIT( its Nshit actually, but for decency sake, I avoided mentioning that, didnt I?), I've been left wanting to go into complete delirium, wanting to attend a carnival of rock music! Alas, I'm still waiting!
Forget about Metallica coming to Delhi, Bruce Dickinson living up to his promise of coming back to India again and Megadeth "Rocking in India" once more, when will the Parikramas, the Dem Clones, the Vaayus , the Prestorikas, the Cyanides, the Decibels and others of the like take stage again?
You must be thinking I'm crazy, right?
Yeah, I'm crazy about rock music because :
1) Instruments are key to most of it. Guitar driven music is simply the only way as far as I'm concerned. Making little beats on your techno machines and synthetic stuff just isn't good music. And hey, a beatbox ain't no set of drums!
2) Versatility. Isn't it great that with the same singer, the same instruments and the same band, bands can come up with a beautiful ballad and a thrashing masterpiece? The ability that bands have to decide their styles and how they play greatly enhances all bands.
3) Realism. Now I can't speak for EVERY band and artist out there, so don't give me crap about some rap group you like that doesn't fit the general trash talking stereotype, or some pop artist who is totally creative, because I won't deny them a little tiny bit of credit here and there. But rock music is great emotionally, MOST writers aren't idiots. They don't spit out about their gangs and their ho's and all that through entire albums. Bands have EMOTIONS, unlike artists like Britney and dare I say, 50 Cent. They have a sense of belonging. There is a story about each one of them. And believe me, you can associate with most of them.
4) Decent Lyrics. No, not every rock band has a great poet. But the ones that do are worth paying every bit of your attention to. I don't see anything creative about "oh baby this" and "oh baby that". I won't stand that at all.

Guess, with DU starting soon, my wait should not last long. Till then, the jukebox is my only hope!

For those about to rock, I salute you!!

~Cheerio!

PS- In case you know of some upcoming ones you would do a great favour by telling me about it.
It'll be of great convenience if its free of cost though! *chuckle*

The Indian soldier- Lost in the sands of time, is he?

2008-07-01T20:51:00.021+05:30

They justified the cause for which Daddy might give up his life
It's been so long, so long a time, still I miss Daddy at night..

At the eastern end of the Rajpath, looming over the festivities, come every January, is the massive shape of India Gate, a triumphal arch 40 metres high, bearing the inscription "To the Dead of the Indian Armies who fell and are honoured in France and Flanders, Mesopotamia, East Africa and Gallipoli". Beneath are the names of 85,00

0 soldiers who died for the British Empirein the First World War. For anyone raised on Kipling's tales of the Raj, the names alone stir the blood: 3rd Skinners Horse, Rajput Light Infantry, 129th Baluchis, 13 Frontier Force Rifles; and the military ranks, subedars and sepoys and havaldars; and above all, the names of the men - distinctively Hindu, Muslim, Sikh and British. As I walk past the hallowed gateway this fine summer evening, I wonder why

India

's numerous patriots are so silent when it comes to honouring their soldier. Why is there never any public clamour for a national memorial for the soldier? Where do our leaders and people vanish on Remembrance Day (yes, we do have one on January 30)? These are just some of the questions that come to my mind as But it rained rings in my ears and sends that dreaded chill down my spine.

Honouring servicemen is a time-honoured tradition in most countries of the world. In Britain, November 11 is traditionally Remembrance Day. The erstwhile Soviet Union lost over 20 million men in the Second World War, or the 'Great Patriotic War' as the Soviets called it. Every town and city has its war memorial and as a part of a touching tradition, the first visit of all couples after their marriage ceremony is to the war memorial. Each year, on the last Monday in May, the United States celebrates Memorial Day. Memorial Day has traditionally been a day of remembering the many heroes who lost their lives during the Civil War and other wars in which the United States has been involved. People visit cemeteries, war memorials and monuments to the many soldiers, sailors and airmen who were lost in action and lay flowers at these sites in their memory. There is, of course, no dearth of such memorials and statues in other countries as well.
Snap back to reality. India has fought many wars since Independence and lost many jawans, sailors and airmen in them. A few questions cloud my mind as I try to recollect in vain, the name of the street in New Delhi where India's war memorial built after Independence is situated. How many streets, flyovers, tunnels, ports or airports have been named after India’s war heroes?

Everyone knows the answers to these questions. Shamefacedly, we have to admit that our concern for the jawan vanishes the day the action is over and he returns to the barracks. The country makes much of its armed forces before and during a battle, not afterwards. It is an unfortunate fact that except for those put up by the soldiers themselves in army cantonments; there are no monuments in memory of jawans even in the nation's capital. All you have is figures of the leech-like politicians gracing every alternate corner and that I-know-you-hate-me-but-I'm-the boss smile staring into your face from a decent ten feet or more!

You maybe getting me wrong if you think that honouring your soldier is confined to just naming your neighbourhood park or the roads in your city in his hounour. But, it surely is a way of reminding you of the great sacrifice they have made, giving up the years of their prime for the safety of you and me. Spare a thought for their families, many of them still waiting with that flicker of a hope to see their sons and fathers and brothers just once more. The men have not only defended their country bravely, but are always prepared to lay down their lives for its independence. In return, they ask only that they and their families not be forgotten in times of peace.

But sadly, like in many other things, we tend to be fickle in our love and devotion for the jawan. For every soldier who lost his life, thousand others also fought just as bravely. And what about those who laid down their lives in lost causes? What about the many prisoners of war still struggling for a morsel in Pakistani jails? On what basis do human rights activists (the most ignorant and hypocritic men of all) claim justice for the terrorists and let our soldiers go to dogs?

The people who have been waiting for their families ten years ago are now older, others must be dead. As I them on television as a backdrop to the token talks, I felt even more helpless as I recalled the wrinkled face of one Mr. Datta, a next door neighbour of mine. Imagine you were the father and someone knocked on your door and told you that your son was dead, and that they had attended his cremation and condolence meeting. What would you do?
A certain Major A.K. Venugopal’s story is more or less similar. At the end of the 1971 Indo-Pak war the family was informed that he be presumed dead. Sometime later his wife wrote to the commanding officer saying that if her husband was cremated with full military honours his ashes should be sent to her. Amazingly, she got the urn only one year after the request. No one believed it. Tangible proof was missing. Major Venugopal’s brother, A.Venugopal, an ex-warrant officer, was incredulous at the blatant absence of credibility. “After an officer dies there are a number of his men who are prepared to accompany his cortege to his home, and the government does not incur any extra expenditure. Later, however, we were told about his whereabouts. Obviously someone was trying to save his skin.”

If the treatment meted out to our heroes and martyrs is bad, the fate of those who serve silently and then retire is worse. Nowhere in the world are ex-servicemen treated as indifferently as they are in this country.

Today, the country stands silent. Not one political party has included the return of our POWs in its manifesto. Why? Have our defense personnel become pawns? Why hasn’t a single government delegation gone to Pakistan? What have our various ambassadors done?

What about public opinion? Do we care? Are defense scams all that the Armed Forces are about? And are we more interested in scoring points over our neighbour rather than trying to get back what is ours – the war hero? Does not the irony of this phrase hit us in the face anymore?

Hold on to that last drop of oil!

2008-06-26T15:07:00.016+05:30

As you dedicate Wish you were here to oil, for once, I dont envy my parents for being the ones earning all the buck!

The month that is soon-to-be-gone now, has just given us a glimpse of what lies in store, an oil price-hike, so not supported by a decent pay-hike.Political constraints have prevented this from happening for some time now, but there always had to be some point of inflexion, forcing the Government take the dreaded decision. A doubling in oil prices would surely have many other inflationary effects: increasing the cost of heating oil and aviation fuel, plastics, chemicals, as well as raising the material costs of all firms (which would likely be passed onto consumers).

But, what is, or rather, are the major reasons behind oil becoming dearer ?
You are the reason. And me. And everybody who buys gas or petroleum products. Supply and demand, that's the name of the game. We demand tons of oil so up goes the price. Works like that in all markets and the markets rule. Always have. Always will. While the supply has remained static, or better put, shrunk there is an ever increasing demand largely from China and India.

However, there are other factors too that have contributed to this meteoric rise in oil prices.Rampant price speculation. People bid for oil in the future, expecting the price to go even higher as demand rises and production decreases. This becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.The weak dollar. A weaker dollar buys less oil, so prices per barrel rise. Global uncertainties dont help the common man's cause either.

I see a silver lining though. As the Hindustan Times reported, in Australia, hundreds of kilometres of cycleways are being used more than ever before, in a bid to save money on higher fuel costs. In America, the planet's biggest gas guzzler people are already figuring out ways to cut down on fuel consumption. Energy saving products ranging from CFL light bulbs to hybrid cars have started to find there way to the top of the average buyer's list (God knows why Chidambaram doesnt like the new Hybrid Civic?!). Pink Floyd would be happy to see the Reva sing Coming back to life. Where the environmental-friendly 'sham' didnt work, spiralling oil prices surely has.Curbing demand rather than increasing supply seems to be the more logical and viable route to take.

Now, the big BUT, like with every theory you start finding workable. Will we, here in India do anything about it on our part? Are you prepared to shun you 8-cylinder guzzler for the puny Reva? Can our white-collared gentry even think of using a cycle? Will the urban finally take to the bus, or even the BRT for that matter? Will you take that not-so-long walk to the market to get your daily rations?
Or will we just wait like sitting ducks for the unsustainably high prices to significantly dampen demand and thus, lower the prices?

Ponder.

Ciao!

At thy expense, Mr. Programmer

2008-06-26T12:16:00.012+05:30

Here are some of the programming jokes I stumbled upon somewhere back in time.

CIA- Computer Industry Acronyms

CD-ROM: Consumer Device, Rendered Obsolete in Months
PCMCIA: People Can't Memorize Computer Industry Acronyms
ISDN: It Still Does Nothing
SCSI: System Can't See It
MIPS: Meaningless Indication of Processor Speed
DOS: Defunct Operating System
WINDOWS: Will Install Needless Data On Whole System
OS/2: Obsolete Soon, Too
PnP: Plug and Pray
APPLE: Arrogance Produces Profit-Losing Entity
IBM: I Blame Microsoft
MICROSOFT: Most Intelligent Customers Realize Our Software Only Fools Teenagers
COBOL: Completely Obsolete Business Oriented Language
LISP: Lots of Insipid and Stupid Parentheses
MACINTOSH: Most Applications Crash; If Not, The Operating System Hangs
AAAAA: American Association Against Acronym Abuse.
WYSIWYMGIYRRLAAGW: What You See Is What You Might Get If You're Really Really Lucky And All Goes Well.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jesus and Satan have an argument as to who is the better programmer. This goes on for a few hours until they come to an agreement to hold a contest with God as the judge. They set themselves before their computers and begin. They type furiously, lines of code streaming up the screen, for several hours straight.

Seconds before the end of the competition, a bolt of lightning strikes, taking out the electricity. Moments later, the power is restored, and God announces that the contest is over. He asks Satan to show his work. Visibly upset, Satan cries and says, "I have nothing. I lost it all when the power went out."

"Very well," says God, "let us see if Jesus has fared any better."

Jesus presses a key, and the screen comes to life in vivid display, the voices of an angelic choir pour forth from the speakers.

Satan is astonished. He stutters, "B-b-but how?! I lost everything, yet Jesus’ program is intact! How did he do it?"

God chuckles, "Everybody knows… Jesus saves."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

How many programers dose it take to change a light bulb?
None - It's a hardare problem.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Of glares and stares..

2008-06-24T21:19:00.010+05:30

It just takes two young men to pose in all their brawn to remind you that glares, the not-too-distant cousins of the Sunnies from Australia and the Peeper Hiders of New Jersey were back in vogue and how! Right from the upscale malls thronged by your neighbour's son and his cronies to those crowded suburban markets you would hate to be spotted in, there is just one thing that adorns everyone with unfailing accuracy, and you know what I'm talking about.The Pradas, Armanis, Boss Hugo Bosses, Valentinos or Oakleys and for those who love high style but live on real-world budgets, the Prados, Harmanis, Hoss Bugo Hosses, Valentines or the Gokhleys..In case you sell any of these, business must be at its bludgeoning best!

In contrast to their poor cousins,the normal glasses, rarely worn without a practical purpose (curiously,as they can project an image of uncool nerdiness that sunglasses do not), sunglasses portray an apparent cool image which basically explains wearing sunglasses by night or when indoors.

In fact, while I was on the metro the other day, I happened to strain my ears on a rather interesting conversation between two friends.Apparently, one of them had bought one of those Prados and while the two were busy admiring the beauty of the stunner, what really made me stand up and move to their end of the bogie was the myriad ways in which they planned to exploit those mirrorshades.From whatever I could gather, these men were good, no, really good and they surely did wake me up!

For starters, just wearing sunglasses to show that you were a fashionista yourself is passe. Sunglasses were always a safe bet when you wanted to sleep off those boring lectures! If your heartiest desire was to be an Ozzy, a John Lennon or a Mick Jagger of the future, Teashades were all you needed.And, just in case you had a bust-up with an adversary the night before, dont worry, the oversized kind would see you through that lunch with your parents. People may also wear sunglasses to veil your bloodshot eyes a certain tell-all about your activities of the 'other' kind.In case you were an integral part of those circles wherein being shady or/and showing detachment was admired, 'shades' was the way to go.
Boy! The Devil sure wore Prada! (or was it Prado?)

Adios!

A November to Remember

2008-06-23T01:40:00.023+05:30

As the days wore on, drearily like a funeral song
And the stars stared down and took so long to be gone
Clutching onto a memory he wanted to live it again
Walking on a path never walked, he wondered if it was but a feign

As the scenes rushed past his eyes
Fearing the worst, doubts clouded his mind
Followed by haunted shadows on the stairway
He walked,
With sullen eyes, still warding off all thoughts of drifting away

Will this life get any better?
Was there ever going to be a more memorable November?
Was there an end to this treacherous phase?
Will he finally get all that he craves?

Those were times the sun dawned just too late
Those were days the birds were just too muted
Those were hours that passed like greased lightning
Those were seconds so poetic with baited breath he waited

A thousand blinks later, a phoenix he rose
To see the southern sky yet again
With those scenes in his mind safely tucked away
A rainbow shines forth and a presence tells him to stay

Gazing through the window at the world outside
A belief so firm, into his mind it arrived
There was something that was his forever
It was nothing but that beautiful November

There was always going to be another November to remember!

PS- These are not the lyrics to my favourite song as you might believe ( at least my friends did!). Incidentally, I versified it myself.

Off the blogging-blocks!

2008-06-22T21:08:00.009+05:30

A blog at last..Wow!
I am yet to get in sync with the subtleties involved with this alter universe called the blogosphere, so kindly bear with my inadequacies.
All I know is that these are going to be the first few square inches I'll own (sounds pompous,I know!) .Its going to be MY place in this surreal world! And, for once, nothing else matters!
Yup, my blog's going to be just about thoughts that filter through me, incidents that happen to me, people I meet, places I go to, movies I watch, music I listen to, anything, anytime and anywhere. And if you want to know about my political inclinations,well, I don't have any. I don't argue about facts and I don't care for other's opinions, not the destructive ones in any case.
I hope to be as lucid as possible, within the boundaries that constrain me of course.

Constructive criticism is always welcome!

Hasta la vista!